Musings of a Woman

Baking soda gets the grease out!

2012-02-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

In an effort to help reduce our rather large carbon footprint and just be healthier people, in general, I have started to implement the use of natural and more homemade products for our family. My first efforts have included re-introducing cloth diapers into our household. I will admit, I got really lazy when it came to cloth diapering..mainly because there was a point when TJ had such chunky thighs that the diapers were leaving angry red marks and I couldn't bare to see my baby bear in any pain. Anyway, I have brought them back now that the little dude has thinned out a bit and it is helping. While we still aren't exclusively cloth diapering, which is my goal here, we are still cutting our 'sposie diaper use in half. I must say these cloth diapers have taken a beating and they are still just as good (if not better than) when I first purchased and prepped them. Other introductions have included the use of homemade laundry soap. 5 gallons of this stuff and it should last us at least 9 months or more. We have an HE top loader so we don't use as much as recommended and it has been great so far, even with T's car-greased stained clothes and work pants. It is gentle enough to use on the c/d's and tough on even the oiliest of grease stains. I love the stuff, so much in fact that I gave some to my mom to use. We also implemented a new strategy to help lower our water usage; I got this idea from a natural living site. We now use the motto, "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." I know it sounds gross, but in the name of saving money and reducing our water usage; I am all for it. As far as personal care goes, I have forgone the use of shampoo and conditioner and instead keep my hair clean and conditioned with baking soda and apple cider vinegar. Shampoo contains chemicals that strip the hair of natural oils, causing the scalp to over-produce these necessary oils that protect the hair. Conditioners leave so much residue that the hair is coated in "gunk" and it may not all come out with shampoo. Not to mention shampoo and conditioners are expensive. I have been using this for a little over a week now and I must say, I don't have to clean my hair as much because it isn't as greasy as it normally is (oh the joy of thin and fine hair) and my ends are more manageable and less dry, thanks to the apple cider vinegar. I usually follow with an olive oil spritz; it helps neutralize what little odor the acv leaves behind and acts as an additional detangler/leave in conditioner. I don't think I will be using shampoo or conditioner ever again, but who knows when I will want the smell of strawberries or something in my luscious locks? I credit a lot of my findings to the website, "Pinterest." People pin images of people, places, things, ideas, etc. I have found many recipes, craft ideas, natural living ideas, and fun stuff on that site. I recommend a visit to that site.

I am also planning on homebirths for our future children. I have spoken with fellow moms/friends who have experienced this and even got some pretty honest advice from a doula who attended TJ's birth, I am also in touch with some local midwives here in MI. Most people that I have spoken with about this think I am nuts and try to use TJ's birth as an excuse for me to be in a hospital. I can honestly say that because of my horrible experience with the birth of our son, I am positive a homebirth will help to heal still-open wounds the bond with my husband and son will become stronger. I am aware of statistics, I am very well aware something could do wrong (after all, it happened the first time), I am also aware that women have been giving birth since the beginning of time. I am aware that my body will do what it needs to do in order to safely birth my son; in the event that all measures taken are not working I can always go to the hospital. I am thankful that I have that option, but it will not be my first choice. I prefer to not be hooked up to every beeping and blinking piece of technology and not have to be strapped down to a bed. I prefer to be able to move around and trust my body. Homebirth is not for everyone; one of my doulas told me this. She also told me she was certain this is something I could do. Some women need the comfort of a hospital and that is fine; I am glad we were in a hospital for TJ's birth (even if it was a result of too much intervention) and I am glad I have that option. I am excited for this. I am not even pregnant yet, and I am already psyching myself up for this!

Later this spring/summer we are going to put up some gutters and have a "rain barrel" to collect the rain water so we can water our plants. I also plan on hanging a lot of our clothes to dry outside; sunning is the best deodorizer and stain remover! I am excited for our family to be more natural and save money!

The Anti-Annoyed...

2012-01-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

So the other day when I posted about being annoyed, I truly was annoyed. With people and various circumstances in which I find myself on a day to day basis. However, I promised a change this year did I not? In my defense, I would just like to say that Wednesday was a very emotionally tough day for me; many realizations had dawned on me all at once and I was not prepared for the onslaught of heartache. That said, I am doing much better after having promised myself to move forward and given these people/situations to God because I am simply done with trying to deal with them on my own. Clearly, these were issues that I knew would need to be dealt with at some point, but I was so focused on being happy that I tucked them away in that deep part of my brain known as, "deal with it later," and somehow they spilled out. It was a very good thing I had church that evening, because being with my church family was just what the "good" Doctor ordered. Now with all THAT said, I would like to write an anti-annoyed list and share with you all (okay, just me...but still) to counteract the negativity of my last post (although, the peeing thing really DOES annoy me). I present to you, in no particular order, 35 things that make me happy! Enjoy.

1.) Waking up to sunshine instead of overcast skies.
2.) Watching elderly couples flirt after all the years they've been together. - My grandparents aren't together anymore, but even I can see they still sort of regard each other in "that" way...they think I don't know.
3.) People who call me from time to time just to say hi and check in. - Granted, I am not the best at keeping in touch with people but it is nice to hear from someone every once in a while...I ought to take my own advice.
4.) When I see daddies wearing their babies. - There is nothing more masculine than taking care of your babies, and being a baby-wearer myself...it is especially "awwww" worthy when a dad does it.
5.) Listening to my son talk himself to sleep. - Even after nearly 3 years of having him....sometimes I am still amazed that he is my baby.
6.) When I see the opportunity to give to someone in need and it seems like everything is in place for me to do so. - It never fails and I love helping people, everyone deserves kindness.
7.) Singing in front of people, especially my church family. - Whether a big crowd or a small gathering, bringing emotion to people through song is something that I will never tire of.

8.) Babies. - They smell good, they are cute, they are innocence personified.
9.) When my husband cooks me an omelette.- Getting him to cook me an omelette is like asking the Pope to come to a Gospel church service...you would think I was asking him for a kidney. Man that man cook a mean omelette though.
10.) Purses.- I have one in nearly every color of the rainbow. I am not a purse snob, I don't care what brand as long as it is cute.
11.) When I can share my testimony of infertility.- I was told that I may never have children, but I do and he is the best!
12.) Chili's Buffalo Chicken Salad. - I have tried to recreate this amazing salad to no avail. I am hooked.
13.) Fried Pickles.- Because duh!
14.) Being married to someone who has seen me at my worst and still thinks I am the hottest woman ever.- God really broke the mold with that man.
15.) When I put on a coat after not wearing it for very long, and I find money in the pocket. - This is awesome because it has happened nearly every winter for the past few years. Keep it comin'!
16.) When I see a new mom or a seasoned mom breastfeeding their baby without apology.- One of my biggest fears of moving back to this country was all the nonsense over breastfeeding and how I would cope, because in Europe this isn't an issue at all. Whenever I see a mama feeding her baby in public, I smile at her and let her know that I have her back. I always get a knowing smile right back.
17.) When I am feeling a little blue or a little sick and my boy comes up to me, hugs me, kisses me, and says, "mama." - That right there? I don't ever want to take that for granted, I feel instantly better.
18.) When people are losing weight for health and for themselves, not for society or because someone else told them to. - Do it for you, not for someone else...it isn't their body.
19.) Coffee. - I do take some coffee with my flavored creamers...hehe.
20.) Lying down on freshly laundered sheets.- They are so soft and smell so good.
21.) Being able to walk into a store and buy something if the opportunity arises.- I will never take this for granted again.
22.) Knowing that this earth is not my forever home.- I used to think people who believed in God were crazy and that Heaven was just a nice little fantasy they told themselves to make themselves feel better. After everything I have been through in my life, I now understand those people. I am so glad I will go to Heaven.
23.) Sunny days. - Must be the vitamin D.
24.) Amusement Parks.- Although I don't love roller coasters as much as I used to, I still love the smaller rides and just spending a fun day with my family and friends.
25.) Jesus. - This should go without saying, but I say it anyway.
26.) My husband. - He has done a lot with his life and he makes me so proud and happy to be his wife.
27.) Me. - I am finally becoming happy with me and who I am.
28.) The first bite into a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. - Yup, it is that good.
29.) When I balance my checkbook and it actually balances! - I am such a nerd, I get geeked over this.
30.) When good things happen to my family and friends. - I weep when they weep and I rejoice when they rejoice.
31.) When someone takes the time to be honest with me, even if its not what I want to hear. - Very seldom do I come across people who tell me the truth in a loving way, instead they wish to lie to me and it hurts because I know I am worthy of the truth.
32.) When I am having a bad day and I am praying to God for help and suddenly the phone rings and the person who was on my heart is on the other end. - This has happened to me on many occasions, I thank God each and every time.
33.) People who love me, even when I am unlovable. - Need I say more?
34.) Sitting on my chaise lounge with a cup of coffee and relaxing. - I just close my eyes and thank God for the little things.
35.) People who overcome adversity.- This makes me happy.

Not a long list, but just some of the things that make me happy. What makes you happy? What or whom do you love? If you are reading this and I haven't called you or communicated with you in quite some time; I apologize for being such a lousy friend/family member. You are important to me and I want you to know that. You are in every prayer, in my heart, and in my mind. 616-808-6146 is my cell, so we can text or call. I don't care who calls whom, I just want you to know that I love you and I am asking for your forgiveness if I have hurt you by not keeping in contact with you. I love you and God bless!

~Sally

Annoyed meme....

2012-01-18T11:39:00.011-05:00

I haven't really been inspired to write a witty blog post lately; call it a lack of creative flow (or that I just didn't feel like writing). It seems like every time I blog lately it is a negative ranting post or some random update about our family and how TJ is doing. I would like to say that I am done ranting and raving, but sadly that isn't the case. I've just been seeing a lot of "things" lately that irritate me. For your enjoyment, here is a list (in no particular order) of 35 things/people that annoy me. Wait, but Sally...aren't you a Christian? Shouldn't you pray for people or situations that annoy you? For shame! Yes, I am a Christian...but I also have emotions because, guess what? I AM HUMAN. I am allowed to get mad, angry, sad, etc. The difference between me and someone who isn't saved? You tell me, because a Saint is just a sinner who fell down..and got up. I just don't let my emotions dictate how I treat others; after all everyone is going through something and far be it from me to belittle them (as hard as that is). So, without further delay....

1.) People who let their dogs run freely through the neighborhood. - Seriously, you have two large dogs that can jump over the fence and poop in my yard. I dealt with this in Army housing, I will NOT tolerate in my own home. Keep your canines in check please.

2.) People who park their vehicles in front of my house. - Is it hurting me? No. We have had to share parking spaces for the last 3 years...since we now have our own property, it would be nice to park out front if we feel like it!

3.) People who say, "Call me if you need anything!" - I have heard this too many times by too many people who didn't mean it. Cynical of me, but I am working on it.

4.) Women who complain about their husbands being gone for a weekend. - The Army wife in me says, "Try it for a year, on top of having your first miscarriage alone, with nobody but a nurse." I miss field training exercises...

5.) When I get home and suddenly have the urge to pee really bad, even though I didn't need to just a few minutes ago...and for some reason it takes longer to get in the house. - This happens all the time. Does my bladder detect when our toilet is within 50 feet?

6.) Women who have their babies early just to avoid having a large baby and/or stretch marks. - I cannot believe that some doctors allow this to happen. Unless their is a medical reason, this shouldn't be allowed.

7.) Doctors who dismiss my health concerns and tell me to lose weight and it will cure all my ills.- Really? I was not aware that losing weight could solve my mole issues.

8.) When I am mistaken for Kirsten Dunst. - This has actually happened to me. Do I look skinny and blonde? Wow, get your glasses fixed there dude.

9.) When the captain says, "We are experiencing mild turbulence..." and the plane makes a sudden drop. - Pretty sure that was more than sweat in my seat when I got up after the flight ended, just sayin'. Mild is a little juggling, when the overhead compartments pop open...it is time to talk safety!

10.) People who tell me what I should/shouldn't post on my blog or facebook. - Pretty sure it is mine and if you don't like it, don't read...that is all I ask!

11.) When people assume I do nothing all day when they find out I am not currently working. - This is not by choice, mind you. I would work if I could find a job willing to work around our family schedule. I have yet to find daycare that is open after 6PM and all the potential employers want me to work nights and weekends.

12.) Family and friends who don't respond to my messages, emails, or wall posts, even after weeks. - Am I silly because this bothers me? I don't know, all I know it that it does.

13.) When I go into a room for something and suddenly have amnesia and cannot remember what I was doing or why I'm in that room. - I really don't like this one.

14.) When I am walking through a doorway and jam my arm or elbow into the wall. - Someone with fibromyalgia will understand. Bumping into things or even light touches often feel like someone is digging into our muscles with knives...not fun.

15.) People who think women should put a cover over their nursing infant. - I get you don't want to see a breast, because God knows you don't see enough of them in every day television or commercial ads. How about next time you are eating at the sunny spot in the park on a hot summer day, I come along and throw a nice polyester lined blanket over your head...I don't want to see you chewing with your mouth open.

16.) Trains that take FOREVER at railroad crossings. - People in Indiana will sympathize.

17.) Trains that come to sudden stops at railroad crossings. - See above.

18.) The fact that I care at all what other people think. - While I don't like confrontation or being mean to people, I am not here to please you.

19.) Snow. - Need I say more?

20.) People who gossip. - If you talk about your friend this way, I don't need to be your friend. If you are that unhappy with someone, then tell them.

21.) When I get home from the grocery store and realize I forgot to use the coupons I had saved. - This really bugs me.

22.) When people assume my husband isn't disabled because he isn't missing any limbs. - This is sheer ignorance. Wounded Veterans don't always look wounded.

23.) The westboro baptist church people. - They annoy me for several reasons, not the least of which is they give Christianity a bad name. I promise, we are not all death-loving, world-hating, people. Did you know these people cuss freely? Wow.

24.) Men who believe a woman should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. - Get over yourself.

25.) People who think they are better parents because they have more children than me. - Congratulations, you're reproductive system works better than mine....but your children need guidance.

26.) When I go to correct my son and he throws his arms around my neck and says, "mama." - Resistance is futile.

27.) When I am trying to walk out of someones path and we end up doing "the dance."- This is just awkward for all involved.

28.) When I need to get through an aisle and one person is taking up all the space, sees me coming and ignores my asking to pass by. - Lord, I need your hand over my mouth when it comes to these people.

29.) When I send someone a long worded text or message and I get an "OK" in response. - My sister and dad are soooo guilty of this.

30.) When I change TJs diaper and he poops immediately afterward. - *insert facepalm here*

31.) People who think I can't take a joke. - I can take a joke, you just assume I'll be offended.

32.) People who drink and drive. - RIP James, I miss you big bro.

33.) When I am driving on the road and I suddenly panic that I forgot TJ at home, look into the rearview mirror and he is there. - STUPID BRAIN!

35.) People who automatically assume I am unhealthy because I am plus sized. - Please get your head out of the weight-room long enough to do your research. If I was unhealthy, you would actually have a valid argument.

There you go peeps. I needed to write this down and purge these negative feelings from within. It's a cathartic experience, like crying...only I am not ruining my eye makeup. As always, God bless and see ya later!

Like a volcano...

2012-01-04T21:01:00.001-05:00

Today TJ had his first meltdown. We took him to the mall to play in the kids area (which consists are giant pieces of breakfast food like eggs, cereal, waffles, etc.) and he played for quite a while. Then he discovered the exists and took off a total of....ok I lost track of how many times he tried to run out. After the Nth time he took off, he was told if he did this again we would be leaving because running away from mommy and daddy is not acceptable nor is it safe. Needless to say he tried taking off once more so we packed up and proceeded to head out. He started to cry and bend himself backwards (the toddler version of the alligator death roll) and then started screaming, "play, play, mama, daddy, PLAY!" Needless to say, it was a sight to see. Granted, this wasn't the worst tantrum I have witnessed, but it was TJ's first real battle. We walked around for a bit and distracted him with various questions, "What's that? Who's that?" until the tears stopped and he was his normal happy self. I can say that I have been preparing for these tantrums by helping TJ to learn about feelings, but todays experience has me thinking about more ways he can learn how to express his feelings. *phew*

New Year, new attitude, new changes....

2012-01-01T14:20:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! I love writing year in review posts almost as much as I enjoy reading them. It's always nice to rejoice with someone who has overcome adversity over the last year, on the other hand it is a blessing to be able to offer encouragement to someone who is still going through something. You may have noticed the layout is a bit different; I changed it to suit our life changes. Let's take a look at what 2011 offered to the Moser family, shall we?

The beginning of 2011 was a month of anticipation and preparation for us. We knew we were on our way out of the military; we were preparing to say goodbye to friends and hello to a new/old way of life. Going back to civilian life sounds easy, but when you have been part of a military family the transition is difficult at best. At least for our family. God is still bringing us through, as Travis and I still both struggle with losing our Army family, and I know peace is just around the corner for us. With that said, we were able to visit Rome for the second time, which was amazing as we were able to see more of the city and surrounding areas than our previous visit...not to mention we had an extra person with us this time. TJ just makes everything better; seeing the world as he does is humbling. He is still learning how to behave and what is inappropriate and what is acceptable. 2011 also saw us become the victims of nosy and incredibly judgmental prejudice, when we were reported for child abuse. Someone didn't like the way I chose to discipline my son, who had a biting problem at the time, and decided I needed to be in trouble. I have favor with God though, and the agency knew me well. I thank God that His hand was over that situation, but I will admit that I lost my temper and *temporarily* my mind. I have forgiven that wrong, just this morning in fact. I refuse to be bound by unforgiveness, so I made up my mind to move forward. 2011 also saw two of my very best friends have their miracle babies. One was a complete shocker and the other was long awaited. While I didn't make it in time to welcome little "C" into the world, I was able to make in time to be one of the very first people to love on him. I sure hope his mama knows how much I appreciate that! For baby "T" I was there for it all; labor to birth. What an incredible experience! To watch her work so hard to bring him into this world and then watch as he took his first breath of life; beautiful!! That is one experience I will always cherish. Thank you Kayla for letting me be there, you will never know how honored I feel to have witnessed his birth! We celebrated TJ's 1st birthday in Germany and boy is that kid loved by many! He was spoiled with gifts and hugs and kisses galore! 2011 also saw us moving back stateside. Here we are, nearly 5 months later, and we are still adjusting. Thank God for His abundant mercy and many blessings or we would have completely lost it! People said we wouldn't be able to find a home or a job and within 3 months of moving back we bought a house, Travis got a job, and we have a wonderful church home. See how GREAT God is?! Our own families were telling us these things wouldn't happen...but God made a way out of no way! I am still in awe. We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families for the first time in years and it was a blessing. Sometimes Travis and I sit and talk about Fort Riley or Baumholder, from time to time, and wish we could go back...but we know this is where God wants us to be. I am thankful because this has given Travis and I the opportunity to grow closer to one another. He has started to open up to me about some of the things he has gone through while in the Army. I am able to open up about some things we well. God is allowing healing and restoration to take place, I could not ask for more. Travis is getting ready to receive a good report from the VA, I am waiting for the right job opportunity and school opportunity to come along, and TJ is growing by leaps and bounds.

In short, 2011 saw our family suffer a great loss when Travis was taken off active duty and his files officially closed. We both feel like we lost our family. Granted, 6 years isn't a majority of a lifetime...but it feels like it when you've given as much as we have and sacrificed as much we have. 2011 also saw God bring us up out of the pits of despair, because we both went through depression (I had a late on-set of PPD) and it was really wearing on our family and faith. We have been blessed beyond measure, we've watched our friends come home from war (we celebrate with you all in spirit), moved closer to our family, we have 24 hour shopping, we have money to eat and pay the bills, and we have a HOME! 2012 is going to bring us so much more joy and happiness! God is going to open a window of Heaven and the blessings will fall in abundance!

This year I am changing my attitude. I am not going look at the glass half empty. I want to be a better person; smile more, laugh more, enjoy my life more, not take my blessings for granted, enjoy my son instead of yelling at him, love on my husband instead of criticize him, tell my friends and family how much I love them as often as possible, open up to people, stop hiding behind other peoples' opinions and form my own. Stand up for my beliefs and have more faith in God.

I pray that each of you have a prosperous new year and that, if you don't know who God is...that you seek Him and find Him. I know, it sounds crazy when people quote scriptures or continuously praise God...but He is awesome and I want for all of you to experience His grace. From someone who used to be the biggest skeptic...if you only knew what God has in store for you. Much love!

~Sally

Back to the Baby Game...

2011-12-28T13:47:00.000-05:00

Travis has given the go ahead to start trying, officially, for another little Moser. He told me that I was not allowed to become obsessive about it this go 'round. I agreed, I don't want to put myself or anyone else through that ever again. This is our first month TTC (trying to conceive, for your fertile myrtles out there) and I am already "late" with a BFN. I seriously pray that it's not going to be like it was before. Many people aren't aware that there is such a thing as "secondary infertility." It is real and it does exist, especially for people who had babies after being diagnosed "infertile." Travis and I are that couple. I am not claiming secondary infertility, I refuse to accept it. I will not be bound by the devil of doubt, I won't. I am not going to drive myself nuts either. If we just have our one precious boy, then he is all we can handle. Do I want more children? Of course, but I don't want to become that crazy baby-making obsessed woman I was before. There is nothing sadder than a woman who is in desperation over becoming a mother. Believe me, I have been there. All that aside, I am excited to try but at the same time I am keeping my emotions in check. I still get that sad feeling every time only one line shows up on the test, but I know I am blessed because I do have a miracle asleep in his bed at this moment. I just wanted to let everyone know it is official, because our past struggles are not far from our minds. I have friends who are still longing to be parents and I don't want to overwhelm them in any way. Just a short note, to give you a bit of where we are in our lives.

Christmas was a blast. TJ made out like a bandit and, like we have done every year since his birth (OK...only since last year), we explained the reason behind Christmas and who St. Nicholas really was. We watched the Nativity story, opened gifts, made cookies, spent time with family, and celebrated the birth of our Lord. It was a great time to be with family. TJ got to spend Christmas with his extended family for the first time, which was great because he loves playing with his older cousins and showing off for his grandparents and aunties. My boy is a joy and he is so awesome. He is the best thing to ever happen to me on this earth. I pray his sweet spirit and joyful attitude stay with him for eternity. How was your Christmas?

Debate, Schmebate.

2011-11-22T21:38:00.000-05:00

I've been reading a lot of hullabaloo lately on the 'net. No matter what website I visit, there is always some debate going on. Like any curious person, I take a peek and see whats going on. Aside from the usual (abortion, religion, political), there have been some heated debates over things like vaccination, corporal punishment of children and it's *alleged* biblical background, and the fat vs. skinny fight. Granted, none of these are really new debates, but they have gained some real attention lately and I am not sure why. Normally, I keep my mouth shut and refuse to participate because if I do open my mouth, I anger or offend someone and they either quit talking to me for a while or drop me like a hot potato. HOWEVER.

I had to open my mouth on the corporal punishment debate; I have researched this dead horse to death. I am against spanking my son, but that doesn't mean I haven't slipped a couple of times and those times have just served to remind me just why I am against spanking. I have extremely personal reasons I feel this way, mainly due to my own childhood (and Travis feels this way as well), and to put it plainly how wrong it feels for me to strike my child. We used to smack patty's (smack hands) but even this form of punishment has me questioning my parenting choice. I have friends that spank their children, and my friends know my opinion because in my research I discussed this matter with them. Do I think any less of my friends? Absolutely not. I don't agree with their choices, but that is just it..those are THEIR choices and not mine. I must say, however, that I have yet to actually see these friends spanking their kids, so who knows? The reason I included myself in this online debate was because people were trying to say that spanking is biblical and quoting the infamous Proverbs scriptures as references, without knowing what they were quoting. "Spare the rod, spoil the child." I hear this phrase a lot and it is often and incorrectly referred to as a biblical scripture. It is not. It is actually from a poem written by a man in the 1600's. Proverbs does often refer to a "rod" and tells one to discipline their child. I am not going to get into detail, I just urge you to research it. I just get irritated when people twist scripture around to benefit their own agenda. The Old Testament is full of laws, some are outdated and do not apply to our culture today. For example, it is NOT acceptable to stone a person in the street, for any reason. I could go on about this one, but my argument here isn't about the morality of spanking...it is about using the Word of God as a tool for your own agenda. Please quit quoting things as scripture that are NOT. MOVING ON!!

The fat vs. skinny thing. I didn't offer my opinion on this website because one look at me and you will know whose side I am on (seriously, I LOVE my curves). Really though, I don't advocate being lazy, eating unhealthy foods, and living a sedentary lifestyle. I also think starvation diets, practically living at the gym, changing for someone other than yourself, feeling guilty for eating, and worrying about every calorie that goes in your mouth are just as bad. Here I was looking at pictures of young women who were saying things like, "punch yourself in the stomach to alleviate hunger and you won't eat!" What is with the need to be skinny anyway? Why can't we be strong or, better yet, HAPPY with ourselves? This one girl had posted a picture of a clearly emaciated woman (who had hipbones that were so visible you make out the curve of her pelvic bones) and said she wanted to be just like her. SORRY LADIES! You were meant to have a little bit of a bulge in your lower abdomen...it is where your UTERUS sits. Then I see pictures of the opposite side of the spectrum; pictures of extremely large (dare I say morbidly obese?) stating how proud they are of themselves and they don't do anything. Now I am all for loving yourself, but if you disregard your health altogether then I am not in agreement with you. My point? Love your body, take care of it (even too much exercise and strenuous diets are abusive to your body), and don't change for anyone else but yourself (as long as the change is healthy). Our society places too much emphasis on the outer and not nearly enough on the inner. You think skinny people are the happiest? Life isn't great just because you are a size 2 or a size 20. Life is hard and you have to go through struggles and triumph to get where you want to be. All these little posts that rag on skinny or fat people are sad. Man or woman, we should build each other up and help one another out. Do you really think that woman in the plus sized section needs to be told she is overweight? Do you think the skinny girl needs to be reminded she has no curves? LOVE people; love yourself, love your neighbor. No judgement here; just love. In my life I have been teased heavily, I was even the victim of a very cruel prank (movie worthy) and you have no idea how that tore me up. Someone I had a very strong crush on in junior high, somehow found out and his friends put him up to asking me out as a joke. I was so excited and when I went to meet up at my locker (I was clutching my books to my chest, blushing and nervous...but so happy that a boy FINALLY saw through my fat and liked ME), there he was with his friends (a few of them were girls) and they laughed out loud and pointed. The worst part? I had class with all of them right after. "She actually thought you wanted to go out with her? She is ugly and FAT." I remember that. Am I angry about it still? Nope. It took me until well into my adulthood to forgive the people who teased and taunted me, but I no longer carry that burden. ANYWAY. There shouldn't be a debate of skinny vs. fat. Just be healthy, love yourself, and love others (even when they are unlovable).

I also stayed out of the vaccines debate, although I will say that there is new research out about vaccines that I have not seen. I've written papers on this as well, my son is vaccinated. However, I always urge parents to do their research on vaccines...don't do something because you are told to. This is your child's well being.

I apologize, I have no references or websites to offer but google is a wonderful tool to use and so is your local library. I sincerely hope nobody was offended by this post. I don't agree with every decision my friends or my family make and visa versa. I guess I just wanted to get my opinion on "paper." On to lighter topics.

TJ is learning new signs and new words DAILY. He now says (in addition to previously mentioned words): pee-pee, baby, speak (sign and word), water, milk (or mama as he calls it), juice, tv, remote (i see a pattern here), school, play, night night, amen, dinner, noodle, nose, and eye....that I can remember. He is growing so fast and at an alarming rate!! It seems like only yesterday I watched him come into this world (yes, I had a mirror..it was my motivation to get him out!). In a matter of months he will be 2. How exciting! I am hoping to have #2 on the way by then. I really want my children to be close in age. Not sure why, but I think it would be good for our family. Travis received a promotion and a raise, thank GOD. I am telling you right now that God has done so much for our family, blessing us beyond measure. Beyond what we deserve. I am so grateful to serve such a powerful and mighty and awesome God! Hallelujah!

I want to go study my bible now and spend some time with God. Love you all!

~SJ

2011-11-19T22:10:00.000-05:00

So in case hasn't been let out of the bag yet, let it be known that the Moser family is hoping to expand by one or two more. Travis and I made the decision to try for another child. I went and had my *ahem* appointment this past week to make sure all is in working order. The doctor didn't want any of my past OB/GYN history that includes details about our previous miscarriages, our diagnoses of "unexplained infertility", and my pregnancy info. I tried explaining to the doc that I believe I have been experiencing anovulatory cycles and she gives me the eyebrow and asks me how I know this. This is after I tell her that I do not take birth control (I never have, probably never will) and that Travis and I practice natural family planning (it involves a female getting really personal with herself, detecting cervical patterns, fluid changes, etc.). I am abruptly told that I am not anovulatory because I have been having my cycle...I tried to explain that it isn't a normal cycle but my information falls on deaf ears, I mean how would I know anything about my own body?!? Basically she told me she didn't believe it took us 5 years to conceive TJ and because he was conceived naturally, I have nothing to worry about. All my close friends know of our struggle to conceive. I am so grateful that God blessed us with TJ. I stand in the belief that I am healed of infertility and I will bear more children. HOWEVER, when I am trying to give a doctor my history and it is dismissed by a condescending attitude...it really upsets me. She then proceeds to hint that Travis and I weren't actively TTC, which is why it took so long. *eye roll* I am so sick of know-it-all doctors who think they know an individual just by looking at them. I didn't even go for a fertility check up..she isn't an RE, just an OB/GYN who refused my medical records but proceeded to tell me how it is. I was saddened actually; I lost some faith in our healthcare system. Chances are, when I get pregnant I will be seeing someone else. ANYWAY. I didn't mean for that to get all negative and stuff.

Trav and I are excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas in our new home. Our family is coming over for Thanksgiving so that is going to be fun. We will be having traditional dinner food and enjoying being around our loved ones for the holiday and having or own home. I am so grateful to God for where He has brought from and where He will bring us. We want to go shopping on black Friday, it will be a first for both of us. We are hoping to score some good deals. Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

SJ

"I AM Here."

2011-11-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

So I sit here and think about life. I have had all these perfectly formed stories floating around in my head and, wouldn't you know it, as soon as I have time to sit at my computer and actually put the proverbial pen-to-paper....nothing. I really wanted my blog to inspire people, to make people laugh (because really, I AM funny...right?), and be able to share my thoughts or opinions on issues that concern me (like a previous post that shall remain anonymous). I received a message last night from an old friend about how my posts on a certain social networking site have inspired her to go back to church and get into a relationship with God. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love the Lord, but they also know that I have many, many flaws. I have been battling a spirit of depression lately; an awful feeling for anyone who has experienced this plight. Last night came to a breaking point when I was watching some inspirational videos online and the Glory of the Lord just fell. I have been experiencing what I like to call a "glass house" effect. I pray and seek the Lord, but I am in a glass house and all my pleas fall right back down to the floor. I know this happens to many of God's children, we all get to that place now and again, where we feel like God can't hear us. As this happened last night, I felt His arms wrap around me. I felt the peace I have been longing for just wash over me. Tears of repentance poured from my eyes as I heard that still small voice whisper, "I am here." I swear I heard the glass house breaking down all around me. I knew, in that moment, that God was taking over this battle for me. What I just realized, even as I type this, is that He was waiting for me to relinquish control to Him because I cannot do this on my own. How many songs have I sung about calling on the Lord or wanting the Lord's help? Yet, here I am trying to wage war against an enemy that is all too familiar with my flaws and knows how to break through the chink in my so-called armor. After I sat and prayed for a bit and thanked God for hearing my pleas, I received this message from my friend. They told me to keep posting about the Lord and how they were impressed with my posts online. The only thing I could think of was, "Do they know how many nights I lose sleep because I am so out of line with God?" I was touched, that even though I am going through some things in my life (which as most of you know, the last 6 months or so have not been easy on our family), someone sees the Jesus in me...even if it is through a status update online. I admit, there are times when I let my mouth (and my temper) get the best of me and I say or do something inappropriate. There are other times when I give someone tough love. The kind of love you give to someone when you know they are wrong and they need to be made aware? But I digress. I was so enamored with this message that I did the only thing I could think of. I sent a reply, telling my friend that I cannot take any credit for anything. I don't brag about me, I brag about my God and what HE has done for me. I told my friend not to be intimidated by people in a church, because even as much as some like to put on a show every Sunday...ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. Even the person behind the pulpit. I have witnessed people dressed to the nines every Sunday, every Bible verse memorized, able to recite the entire genealogy of Jesus Christ from memory unable to hold a candle to their counterpart who shows up in jeans and a t-shirt but has the word of God in their heart.

There is a song I love to sing when I need to remind myself that I am not perfect and never will be while on this earth. "We fall down, but we get up. We fall down, but we get up. For a saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up." I told my friend that it takes courage to stand up and admit your faults to the Lord and humble yourself before Him. People don't realize that even though it is difficult to admit to your sin, being freed from it is the greatest reward there is. I am praying for my friend; praying for strength, deliverance, forgiveness, peace, and grace. You really need to be careful about what you call yourself and how you choose to act because people ARE watching you. You could be the only Jesus someone ever sees.

With that said, Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we are planning on hosting it at our home this year. This should be interesting, considering we have limited space for 20 some-odd people (who eat a Thanksgiving meal as if it were their only!). In other news, TJ will be going to daycare starting this week. As I will be either working or in school in the near future, I need to get him established in a group care setting with kids his own age. He has never been to daycare and this will probably be harder on me than him, HA! I am excited to start him out a couple days a week to see how he likes it. The couple times we have gone to the facility he'll be attending, he has expressed interest in wanting to play with the other kids and I am glad he is this enthused! Travis is also doing well, he is getting a promotion AND a raise (woohoo!) so that is awesome. God has really provided for our family in ways we never dreamed. How can I NOT give Him glory? Our house is feeling more like home (something I have been struggling with) and we are becoming closer as a family. I love life so much and I don't want to waste a single second of it!

Be blessed peeps!

Sal

I suppose that God showed me just how close people are watching what I do or say. One of my prayers is that people will see the Jesus in me, not the shy/temperamental/judgmental Sally in me. How silly of me to think that a long worded blog would do any better than a few status updates on the internet?

Get Down With the Sickness.....

2011-10-22T21:04:00.000-04:00

After recovering from my last post, and let's face it people, my brain isn't exactly a great place to go wandering around sometimes you know? So here I am refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on life. There has been some strange microscopic creepy crawlies lurking 'round these here parts. First Travis gets sick and then TJ comes down with something. Fevers spiking and vomit flying the likes of which I have never seen before. 105.7 was the highest little man's temp got while at the ER, which I must brag for a minute and say that my home town has an ER catered specifically to children....complete with VALET parking! Anyway, after all preliminaries determine that TJ has no significant infection(s), they send us home with some zofran and the hopes that he will get better. I was almost 100% certain that what he had was viral. After one more night of high temps (by this time big Travis was fine), I took TJ in to see his doc. The doc thinks it's viral as well. I am once again sent home and told to keep up the tylenol/motrin diet. TJ's fever broke sometime yesterday afternoon and tonight has sprouted a slight rash on his body. The doc had warned me I may see this; the affects of the Roseola Virus after the fever breaks. It doesn't hurt TJ or make him itchy...it's just there. Now I am feeling a bit under the weather; stuffy nose, sore throat, blah-de-blah. This whole ordeal, in conjunction with the incident at Garmisch, has taught me that my son does not handle illness well at all. Some kids have only a slight reaction to infections while others, like my overachiever, tend to spike rapid fevers and vomit like there's no tomorrow. Who knew? Now I have to catch up on housework, my to-do list, and get the kiddo back on a healthy schedule. It is CRAZY how fast an illness can throw everyone off!!

In other news, it is going to snow soon here. Those who know me well, know that I don't care for snow...not even on Christmas. I grew up with the stuff, lived around it my whole life, but I just cannot bring myself to agree with it. One thing I am excited about though is being able to build a snowman with TJ and Travis and take him sledding at Pinery Park (where I used to go as a child). Snow is good for a few things, I suppose. :)

Some of you have been asking what we've done to the house thus far, so I have created a small list of what we've changed or repaired (this ought to be about as fun as watching paint dry, which oddly enough...I did do).

*TJ's Room: painted, replaced outlet covers, hung shelving.
*Kitchen: Replaced faucet, put in nice fridge (stainless steel anyone?).
*Bathroom: Added window covering, replaced shower head (nice rain shower head).
*Livingroom: replaced air intake grate (woohoo)
*Master Bedroom: Replaced closet doorknob
*Upstairs bedroom: notta, zip, zero, zilch. It needs to be painted...some nice kids who lived here before us practiced graffiti all over the walls and ceiling.
*Basement: decorated it with boxes and storage totes. :P
*Misc.: Added ADT security system, repaired cracked steps, boarded up a window in the garage, hung the U.S. flag

There is still a lot to be done such as replacing weather stripping, covering the pipes in the basement, repairing a window in the basement, taking down an old motion sensor in the master bedroom, painting the upstairs, painting trim and doors, replacing light switches and covers. Just little things, but they will get done in time. :)

Our house is amazing; we have neighbors who can annoy us from time to time but all I have to do is close my window or shut my drapes and I don't have to hear or see them. I can play my guitar or my music as loud as I want, it's awesome! I am so very thankful that God has provided for us. We have our OWN home, and we don't ever have to leave it. Praise the Lord!!

Until Next Time!

Hang on...this could get UGLY.

2011-10-14T22:54:00.000-04:00

My last post from an actual computer was awhile ago. It feels good to be able to type on an actual keyboard and look up at the monitor. Not to mention I have missed blogging, not that I ever really stuck with my commitment to it; I just have had some words and feelings in my brain lately that are screaming to get out. I feel I must warn you of what you are about to read. My mind has been a chaotic place lately (more so than usual), and sometimes it is not pretty. This post will not have a beginning, middle, and end...it will be all over the place. Happy, sad, angry, confused, spiritual, secular, thoughtful, thoughtless, selfish, content, etc. You see where I am going with this? Feel free to stop reading now, I won't be offended. Does anyone read this thing anyway? Doesn't matter; I need this release.

We've been stateside for a little over 3 months. I went through my stage of grief over losing our place in the Army. Everything I was afraid of happening, has happened. What I didn't realize was that we were starting to be ostracized before we even received orders sending us back home. I was hurt, angry, sad, depressed, confused and yet I tried so hard to fit in. How do you fit in a place where you already live? Fast forward to when we left Germany. It was like "BAM!" here we are back at square one. Everything the WTU prepared Travis for, never came to light. The VA doesn't seek you out to help you; you must go to them and you must beg them for help. Because Travis suffers such great memory loss and his PTSD isn't so wonderful to deal with on a good day....I am his personal assistant, more or less. This means that I am the one on the phones, calling people and getting bounced from person to person. Travis was out of pain meds 2 weeks after we arrived. Because he was on transition leave, the VA clinic (that we went to) said they wouldn't touch him because he was still active duty. We took his prescriptions, hand-written scripts for a NARCOTIC by the way, to an active duty base....guess what!? They wouldn't fill them. Surprise, surprise! I guess thats what happens when you put an incompetent "doctor" (and I use that term very loosely) in charge of wounded warriors and dope them up instead of helping them recover. In fact, the whole Warrior Transition Unit in Germany is a CROCK of CRAP! Let's dope up our wounded service men and women until they become shells of their former selves and hope for the best....THEN let's give them a bunch of classes to take that really do NOTHING in preparation for transition and hope the information overload will come across as informative and helpful....THEN let's HANDWRITE PRESCRIPTIONS FOR NARCOTICS AND SEND THEM BACK STATESIDE WITH NO FOLLOW UP....THEN let's wait forever to send their paperwork to the VA (which we neglected to tell them has a 60 waiting period AFTER the day are discharged)...then when they need help, let's pretend we never knew who they were. PREPOSTEROUS!! For those of you "in the know" do everything you can to keep your husbands/friends/wives out of the WTU or at least insist on your loved one getting better care. Needless to say, I had to make a call to the regional VA office and insist that Travis get his pain meds....because who knew a fractured spine (that wasn't even allowed to heal properly) could hurt?! MOVING ON....

We came home with the hopes (and expectation, because really...we hadn't seen family in sooo long) that our families would welcome us back with open arms and help us out. For the most part, this is true. We came back to a crap-storm of epic proportions; suffice it to say that family feuds were at the tamer end of the spectrum. I love my family for helping us out, but can you really expect me to be ok with my toddler in that environment?! I felt so unwanted/unwelcome most of the time....I prayed for GOD above to find a place for us to live. I love my family, I truly do, and that is why I pray for them DAILY. Thank JESUS an opportunity arose for us to purchase a home; the perfect home for us. Our house is a work in progress; we didn't get the biggest or most spacious house on the block...but it fits our small family. Speaking of family; I miss my family in Germany whom I could rely on to help me when I needed it. Thank GOD I don't have to have constant care for TJ, because I cannot find stable help in watching him at all. I am disappointed. Then again...he is my kid.

I had a hard time accepting life as a civilian once again....I walked around making sure EVERYONE knew that I was not your average civilian. Call it arrogance, but I needed SOMETHING to remind me of my Army family. Life out here is rough people. I still cannot find a job. Probably not helping that we picked the state with the highest unemployment rate in which to live. Whatever. Travis is working and just got a promotion, I am so proud of him. His doctor is concerned with Travis working and if I am to be honest...so am I. He already has enough to deal with, what with his injuries acting up. I just pray that someone doesn't do something to set him off....it won't end well.

There are so many nights I feel so alone. I think I have cried more in the past 3 months than I have in the past 3 years. I still can't watch shows or movies with a baby being born without having flashbacks to my own experience and bawling my eyes out. We haven't conceived and we've been trying. I REFUSE to become obsessed about it...but it still hurts because I want to give our son a sibling. I am thankful for our son, so spare me the "but you already have one..." stuff. I am not selfish for wanting another child. My son is everything to me; sometimes I fail as a mother but I love him with all I have. Sometimes I feel like all I have isn't enough though. I lost it with him today. Since before TJ was even conceived, Travis and I discussed our desires for discipline. We decided to be non-spanking parents. I swatted TJ's bottom. Only once and I immediately grabbed him and apologized. He just wouldn't listen and telling him no only got me so far. He cried like I've never heard and immediately opened his arms to me. I'm a hypocrite; I've written papers on the repercussions of spanking. I cried so hard over it that I made him cry. Not good. I think I may still have Post Partum issues that have not been dealt with. I prayed; I heard nothing in return.

I did receive a breakthrough at church this past Sunday. A small one, but a breakthrough nonetheless. The enemy has been attacking me something fierce. I can feel it in my mind as I sleep; I wake up so tired as though I've literally been through battle. I'm not praying as much as I should. Nor do I read my Bible as often as I should. Sometimes it's all I can do to just say His name: Jesus. I need prayer people....lots of it.

God did bless us with a beautiful home and money to fix things and food to eat, clothes to wear, cars to drive. I take none of it for granted; I know it could all be gone in an instant. Sometimes people are gone in an instant too. I've been thinking about my loved ones who have passed away. My unborn children, my older brother, and my father are at the forefront of my mind. I wonder what my babies would have looked like if things had been different? Are they with God? I pray they are so I can see them in heaven. Is my brother in heaven? Does he know I often think of him? Does he know I forgive him? Did he forgive me? Did my dad go to heaven? Did he really find peace before he died? Only God knows.

I am jobless, but hopeful that something will come my way. I need to put my son in daycare so he can interact with other kids his own age. I need to get my butt in gear and pray about my education; where will I go, what will I do? Only God knows, but I wish He would tell me. Forgiveness, mercy, grace, defeat, unholy, unrighteous. Just words floating through my head right now. This has been a very cathartic blog for me. I passed judgement in this blog; I am truly sorry. However, I cannot be sorry for speaking my mind. Too often I suck it up and take what people give or I get too aggressive and let them have it. I need to come up with a way to politely, yet firmly, make my opinions/beliefs known. I get tired of people taking advantage of me and I get tired of people calling me stuck up. I really get tired of people's body image issues. Quit comparing yourself to the men/women in magazines. You will NEVER be them. Besides, if you are trying to look the way someone else wants you to? You'll never be happy, because they never will. I am not stuck up by the way; I am extremely shy around strangers and when I am put in an awkward situation (say, in a crowd of people who use curse words at every turn..) I clam up and people mistake my quietness for being stuck up. No, being stuck up would imply that I think I am better than you. I don't think I am better than anyone. I may have different morals or values, but your humanity is no less important than mine. God loves us all, why is that so hard to understand!? I have to sit and listen to you drop f-bombs and I am expected to take it, but the moment I mention how Jesus saved my life...I am a zealot? I pray for you.

Here I sit, in a beautiful house with my gorgeous husband and son, typing on a really nice computer...yet I complain. Do you people see why I call myself imperfect?! Because I am IMPERFECT. I make mistakes. Thank you for pointing out my indiscretions; because really I couldn't see them myself. Why do you think I pray or go to church or read my bible?! I KNOW I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS!!

I am tired. This blog was all over the place see? I may even make a few people mad; not my intention. I just needed to get all these crazy words and feelings out of my mind, clear up some space. I will continue to do updates and what not. Let you know progress in our lives. I miss my Army family, but the people in my life ARE my family and I am grateful for them. I love and cherish each and every one of you. TJ walks, talks, and drives me crazy but I wouldn't change a thing about him. He is a blessed and highly favored little man. He says HI to everyone he sees, brings a smile to the face of everyone he meets; thank you GOD for a blessing. My husband looks at my body (which I gave up trying to perfect) and calls me sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, and the hottest woman ever. He prays, talks to God, loves me and our son, provides for our family, and loves Jesus. What more could I ask for?

Until next time peeps.

~Sally

I am no Picasso....

2011-10-01T12:06:00.000-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot paint a room. Not even painters tape will help. My sons room will have crooked lines and uneven trimming. Sometimes I ask myself why I started this. Then I think about that little doe eyed guy and I remember its for him. I would have an entire house full of poorly painted walls if it meant he was happy. Our house is coming along quite nicely. We hope to have our things delivered sometime within the next week or so. Yay for having our stuff back! It has not been as hard of an adjustment as I initially thought it would. We are moving right along, only because of Jesus. Well that's about it for now. Blogging from an android phone is kinda hard so I'm cutting it short. Take care and be blessed!

Starting Over....

2011-08-08T19:27:00.000-04:00

Hello to everyone out there who may (or may not) read this. It has been too long since my last update, so I figured I would let you all know what's going on with us. Since my last update, we moved across the big pond and are currently residing with my parents. I am reminded of my teenage years, as we have no vehicle at the moment and I need rides everywhere. I love spending time with family and making up for the last six years having been virtually absent due to the Army. Travis is transitioning really well. In fact, he is taking civilian life a lot better than I had hoped; I couldn't be more proud of my warrior. We are currently waiting to hear back from the VA and the Social Security Admin. about his status, but we are confident in what the Lord has promised and we know all our needs will be met. In the meantime, I am filling out applications and getting my resume into the hands of employers everywhere. It has been nearly 4 years since I have been employed but I know the perfect job out there is waiting for me ( I just have to find it!). We recently rented a nice car and spent a few days at the beach of Lake Michigan. It was great to see how TJ reacted to the water and sand.....he didn't like the sand at all. We also went to the Coast Guard Festival, we got a little nostalgic seeing people in military uniform but it was nice seeing people support their own. We also were blessed to find a palce to worship this past Sunday and it was so nice to be in the house of the Lord once again. There is something to be said for worhiping with like minded people in Christ. It is so easy to slip back into the ways of the world when we are out of the body of Christ. I am so very thankful that we obeyed God and went to that church. We are already excited to see how the Lord will use us to do His will. I believe Travis may be co-pastoring in the near future!! I miss my Baumholder peeps something crazy! Some days it is hard for me to accept the fact that we aren't a part of the Army and some days I am glad for it. I know we will run into each other sometime in the future, after all the world is only so big! So that is where we are at the moment; transitioning, catching up with family and friends, looking for employment, and looking for our own space. I want to start gardening. Anyone have any tips for someone with a not-so-green thumb? I am looking forward to the future, I know it can only get better from here. Keep in touch, let me know how you are doing. TJ misses his church mommies and all his lil baby besties and their mommies! Love from the Moser's to you!!

Busy Bears....

2011-07-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

We have been busy around here for the last week. Between throwing out a bunch of things, dropping off dontions, and separating our belongings for the move....it looks like a tornado hit our house! I am so excited to be heading home and I seriously cannot wait to set foot in a Wal-Mart or Target instead of a PX. I just know it will be a liberating experience.

I have been trying to relax while doing all this prepartion....I know it sounds impossible, but sometimes packing and sorting helps me to deal with stress.

EDIT: One week later...

We have some of our belongings on their way to the states and some on their way to storage. We have been staying with our good friend Jen, who really is our sister. We have said goodbye to our stuff, cleared our old place, and are prepared to fly home tomorrow. What a surreal experience to be not only moving away from Germany but moving on from the Army. We have decided to let go and let God be in control of where our lives go from here. He has made a way and already has our home picked out, our careers picked out, and our paths determined. God is great and is showing Himself in our lives more and more. I am so thankful to serve a mighty God! Travis and I are excited to be around family again and cannot wait to take TJ to the ocean for the first time! We are waiting for everything to settle down for us and then we begin the process of building a life outside the military.

America here we come!!

So much to do and so little...time?

2011-06-22T13:56:00.000-04:00

We have received word that our orders to leave Germany will be available for pick-up on Monday. What an exciting feeling; knowing we are mere weeks away from being with our families and friends stateside! At the same time, I know I will be sad leaving my family here in Baumholder. To my fellow preggo sisters (now mommies), to my very dear sisters who have seen me at my worst, my church family, and just the Army family in general. I have posted about this before, so I won't repeat myself. This big move means we have to arrange our house into categories, which can be a bit difficult if you have little bits and pieces scattered every which way. Hand carried, HHG, UB, ship ahead, documents, donate, trash. Our house looks like the entire contents have been strewn about...which they have. I even have to separate TJ's toys, what to store vs. what to take/ship to Granana's house. My little man deserves his favorite playthings. I am very overwhelmed at the moment, so to me it seems that I have too much to do and not enough time. I want to have my house organized for when the movers get here so they can pack things with as little hassle as possible. I am one frazzled mama bear. My poor guitar has been neglected for the better part of a year...poo ol' blue. I know I have been busy being a mom and what not, but the reality is that I just don't make time for her anymore. That is wrong of me. I know when I am done with the stresses as of late, I will be better and MAKE time for her.

In other words, I have felt myself start to disconnect from my friends here in Germany. This is what every single time we move....I don't know if it is because it makes saying "goodbye" easier or what. I love my friends here so much. I am going to miss you all!! I know I am not the phone talker and I don't call every day but I cherish each of you and keep you close to my heart.

I am happy to announce that yours truly has been awarded her AS degree!! I am so excited about it; I have worked long and hard for this. I am waiting for it to arrive in the mail, and I truly hope it gets here before we leave. When we get back stateside, I am going to go to school and probably get my nursing degree. It is going to be a LOT of work, but I will be helping people and that is something I want to do. COLLEGE HO!!!

This post is just a quick update on things and obviously a bit of jumbled mess as I am all over the place....surely my english report professor would be proud. At any rate, more to come when I have news! Ciao loved ones!

SJ

A New Chapter Begins....

2011-06-08T03:57:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, our time with the military is coming to an end. It is not the ending we imagined or hoped for, but does anything ever really happen the way we imagine? Travis and I have built our whole lives around the Army and we are sad to be leaving, yet proud to have been a part of it. God has His own plans for our lives and they include finally being with our family and friends after so many years of separation. It is time for TJ to be with his grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. It is time for me to finally learn to sew like my gramma and my husband to learn car mechanics from my dad. We will never forget the friends, who are more like family, that we have made while in the military. There is something about a military community that outsiders just don't understand. There is an instant bond between spouses and children of soldiers, connections that can last a lifetime. My son has many surrogate aunts that will forever be a part of his life and hold a piece of his heart. My husband has friends he will be able to reminisce with for years to come. I have sisters who I know I will able to call after years of no communication, and we will be able to pick up right where we left off. This will not be an easy transition for our family, but I am thankful that God is there to soothe any bumps and bruises along the way.

To my Army family, thank you for being there for me through everything. Sometimes we fought and didn't see eye to eye, but in the end I knew that we would be friends for a long time. To my Army sisters who have made a lifelong imprint on my heart, and you know who you are, I fully expect to be kept in the loop! Thank you to the seasoned spouses who helped me learn to adapt to Army life. I never would have made it through my first month long separation from my husband if it weren't for you. Thank you to the installations we had the privilege to call home; and to the installation where I gave birth to my son. How many other kids can say, "I was born in a military hospital in Germany?" Thank you to the soldiers for your never ending sacrifice, especially the wounded warriors. Not many know your pains, but I do. I have seen them first hand. Your sacrifices are not in vain. Most importantly, thank you to MY soldier. SGT Moser, you are the most selfless person I know. You endured loss, mental and physical anguish, betrayal, dishonor, and disrespect...yet you pressed toward the mark. You are such an inspiration to me, I have no words. I look at you and stand in awe of all you have accomplished in your life. I don't regret a single moment with you; you are one of the best things that has happened to me. I love that you love God. You keep me smiling even when I don't want to. You lift me up when all I want to do is crawl under a rock. You have taken this transition so well and you do it with pride and honor. I know you are losing a lot more than I am, yet you never waiver nor falter. You remain as steadfast as any Roman statue. I love you Travis, with every fiber of my being. TJ is so in love with you; you are his soldier daddy. Our little boy looks up to you in a way that makes other fathers envy you. Not only are you America's Hero, but you are our own personal hero. Thank you for your selfless service and sacrifice.

This has been one great ride, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be part of it. It is time for this mama bear and her family to go wherever the good Lord decides!

Army Wife for Life.
Sally

The sad reality we live...

2011-05-01T17:33:00.000-04:00

Here you have, let's say, a company who enlists the aid of citizens to perform certain duties and tasks for a set amount of time and for a contracted rate. After spending nearly $1,000,000 in training, uniforms, equipment issued, and pay...the company then puts these men and women in various dangerous situations where it is likely some will not make it out alive or completely in tact (mentally or physically). After being separated from their loved ones and familiar places, the men and women are expected to return to their company base and given about two weeks worth of time to "regroup" and get back into the groove of things. Some of these men and women are missing actual pieces of themselves and/or some of them are struggling with the job(s) they have performed while away and when they ask for help...they receive it in the form of a pill and a bunch of snide remarks from their peers and leaders. Sure, the company likes to put out memos that asking for help is OK and is encouraged, but everyone on the inside knows it is not that simple. After some time, and a bookoo amount of "happy pills", some of the men and women feel withdrawn. They turn to recreational drugs, alcohol, and even self inflicted pain to help ease the emotional burdens they bear. Because these people give their company a bad name, they are given even more "happy pills" and swept under a rug to keep from making too many waves. This company has taken completely healthy and stable men and women, because of the extensive background checks and so on, and then uses them until their bodies and minds and spirits are so broken down that the slightest comment from a friend.....causes them to make a decision, one they've been contemplating for a while....and this unfortunate person decides that there is no other option....that their pain is completely unbearable and nobody loves them. Jesus isn't even a thought in their mind. This person takes their own life. A life is lost, a tragedy befalls those they leave behind. The company will go through the pomp and circumstance of making sure people see that they "cared" for this person....but those close to the company will know that they are really just putting on an act.

This is the sad reality I live with in the community I am in. People wonder why I preach or talk about God all the time? It is because people, like these men and women, need to know HIM. They need to know that Jesus can pull them from the darkness that looms inside and heal their wounds better than any "happy pill" ever could. We pray for those who are hanging in the balance; sometimes God saves and sometimes He does not. I am reminded of the scripture that reads, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away."

May the God of peace be with you, touch and bless any of you who have or are experiencing the effects of suicide. To anyone who may be thinking about it: THERE IS HOPE FOR THE HELPLESS. THERE IS ONE WHO CAN AND WILL PROTECT YOU AND KEEP YOU FROM THE DARKNESS. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND IS WAITING WITH HIS HAND OUTSTRETCHED TO YOU.

This is a really heavy post, and I apologize, but I needed to get my feelings out. ~One Sad Mamabear

Time keeps on slippin'.....

2011-04-13T03:59:00.000-04:00

Have you ever promised you would do something on a regular basis and then before you know it, the thing you've promised yourself you would do....has long been forgotten? I kind of feel like that with this blog. I started it as an outlet of sorts, then it turned into this need to keep in touch with family and friends...and now it seems like it is something I do just to pass the time (as if I need help with that?!). Stress has been the word of the day in this household for the past couple of months. Between TJ getting incredibly sick, Travis dealing with his MEB stuff, and my juggling school-motherhood-wifehood....it has reached DEFCON 1 in this house and everyone is braced for impact. Prayer has been our go to tool to fix things, that and family back home.....but sometimes we need to pony up and deal with these problems ourselves. Granted, God is right there with us but it is my belief that sometimes we are meant to go through some things and He is there in the background to make sure nothing truly heinous occurs.

WITH THAT BEING SAID.....we are hopefully mere months away from Travis' medical retirement from the Army. This is an exciting, scary, sad, happy, joyful, and terrifying time for us. All we have known the last 6 years of our life is the Army way. It will be so weird not to wash ACU's or PT's on a regular basis, strange that I won't have that fear of a looming deployment...not that I am complaining...because I remember all too well the feelings of uneasiness.

TJ is also cruising around like crazy. The kid can totally stand up on his own, he just gets freaked out if there is nothing to hold onto. He is amazing to watch when other kids are around; he tries to hard to get right into the thick of it with them. The boy will grow up to be an amazing man, that is for sure. He loves people and has a bright personality that I PRAY will never fade. I love TJ so much, it is such a blessing to watch him blossom into who he is as a person; his laughter melts my heart every time I hear it.

Travis and I are doing good; we have our ups and downs but we know that we love one another and as long as we communicate and take care of ourselves, we will be alright. Married life is not easy. I would like to know who said that you never have to work at being married? If marriage was all sunshine and rainbows requiring no work, divorce wouldn't be such a popular reason to go to court. Marriage requires effort from both husband and wife; you cannot expect everything to just work out on its own. Remember those vows? "For better or for worse." Sometimes people jump ship when the going gets tough....they seem to forget that they said they would be there through thick and thin. People in a marriage are always going through some sort of change, everyone is in a constant state of spiritual evolution (oxymoron anyone?), mental growth and maturity....so why do we get upset at one another when we notice that our partner is different? I am a firm believer in fixing problems before they start, and they will start. So go out there and get the help you need before you both decide to jump ship and leave a perfectly good vessel to its own devices....marriage is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be treated with such carelessness.

OK, I am off my soapbox now. I blog for myself too, ya know. Don't think I like to give advice without speaking to myself as well.

I am out for now....we are getting a new bed today and this mama bear is excited!!!

SJ

For moms everywhere!

2011-03-27T15:45:00.000-04:00

I was asked to submit a "Want Ad" for an assignment in one of my classes. I decided on a mom want ad, complete with responsibilities and qualifications. I also had to include an annual salary based on actual rates for the various jobs a mom does from the time of conception through 18 (or longer if your baby bird doesn't fly the coop!). I thought it was a fun excitement and it gave me a chance to be funny...which I totally LOVE! So, here it is. enjoy! Oh, and we are all doing great and TJ is almost walking; exciting!

WANTED: MOM 4 HIRE

MUST PROVIDE YOUR OWN OVUM!!

Seeking a qualified female candidate to fill the position of “mom” for an indefinite amount of time with the main responsibilities ranging from the age of conception through 18 years. Must be available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day with no question. Hours include weekends and holidays, all vacations will include children from here on out.

Responsibilities and Qualifications include, but are not limited to:

Housekeeper, maid, servant.
Short order cook/ gourmet chef.
Teacher, philosopher, therapist, religious and academic advisor.
Nurse, doctor, and surgeon; healer of all boo boos.
Maintenance and janitorial personnel.
Event Coordinator
Open daycare during preschool and preteen years.
Judge, jury, and executioner (figuratively speaking, of course).
Nutritionist
Must be able to see through hurt and pain to the root of the problem.
Mind Reader
Fortune Teller
Laundress, to include occasional ironing and scrubbing off of dirt and grime.
Interior Design
Plumber, electrician, remover of peas from ears with precision.
Landscape artist/groundskeeper.
Must be able to be both mom and dad when necessary.
Administrative Assistant
Chief Executive Officer
Taxi driver/chauffeur
Must be able to coach any sports team and do it well, and occasionally transport said team.
Experienced in negotiations and “the talk”
Extensive knowledge of all things “why?”
Accountant and bank teller.
Logistics Analyst
Computer whiz, to include removing the occasional slice of bologna from the hard drive.
Counselor, specializing in “first loves” and heartbreak.
Must possess instant healing kisses and provide them on demand.
Must possess a nurturing attitude and comforting heart.
Computer Operator and systems analyst.

YEARLY SALARY FOR THIS POSITION IS: $165,125 including a nice benefits package.

*All applicants who choose to submit an application, please include a fertile ovum with your submission. All candidates who meet the criteria will be contacted with an expected due date. THIS PARTICULAR JOB DOES NOT COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS NOR WILL YOU RECEIVE ANY TRAINING. WE EXPECT YOU TO PERFORM YOUR DUTIES WITHOUT FAIL OR FACE PUBLIC SCRUTINITY BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN.

Ah, for the love of babies!!

2011-03-04T14:36:00.000-05:00

There is definitely something in the water here in Germany. It seems babies are being born left and right and other people are finding out about their little bundles 'o' joy, and how exciting it is! Several of our friends are either pregnant or have recently given birth. The most recent friends to welcome a new one are our very near and dear friends (who really are like our brother and sister), the Joyce's. This family has been our family during our stay here in Baumholder and we are so blessed to have them in our lives. Corey, Jen, Topher, and now Caden, are a great family who would gladly give you the last of everything they had if it meant you'd be alright. So naturally, I have to brag on my sister and her hubby and their newest addition. He is SUPER adorable and has that yummy new baby smell (can they bottle that?!) that makes you sniff your hands for hours even after you've stopped holding him. This is a short blog just to share a beautiful photo-op taken by yet another caring soul; Sarah. She was also at TJ's birth and does photos for our family for an amazing price. Without further adieu:

Jen, Corey, and baby Caden.

I love new life. I am so thankful for new life and that God doesn't make mistakes! Be blessed in all you do and enjoy every minute of every day!

Baby fever......

Hello.....is this thing on?

2011-02-22T16:31:00.000-05:00

To say it has been awhile since my last post...well, that would be the understatement of a century! A lot has happened in the year since you last heard of us; we were facing deployment, facing the birth of our son, and now we are facing some tough decisions. 2010 saw tragedy befall us and then saw God's love and mercy abound. I am truly hopeful for this year and what it has in store, and it has already proven to be on the up and up. In case you haven't seen him yet, and really who hasn't seen him yet, this is the latest edition to Moser household:


Ah the sound of screaming infants in the morning...

Not many of you know this, but I thought I would share. If you have read previous posts, you know that T and I have struggled for years to bear children. 2 losses (RIP my angel babies) and 5 years later, here we are. Long story short, we had a bit of a rough start when TJ was born; he was in what's called "respiratory distress" meaning he had no respiratory activity. In fact, save for his heartbeat he was not active at all. Needless to say, praying out loud to God with your husband, your doula, the nurses, and I daresay the entire NICU team that was in the room....let's just say God heard our prayers. Right when I said AMEN my little man took his first breath of life and cried....and it never sounded so sweet. Until I got to take him home and 2:00AM rolled around and he still wouldn't stop. I just thought it was a bit redundant, and I told him as much.

Remember that deployment we were facing last year? Turns out an injury from T's last deployment downrange has caught up with him. It is a very difficult thing to be an Army family and experience this. Anyone who is in or is married to the military will tell you that deployments are expected and when everyone else's spouse is deployed while yours is home....it makes you feel like a foreigner. Despite this setback, T is doing what he needs to do, he is recovering. Who knew that surviving a mortar blast wasn't the easiest thing? T and I have come to terms with the fact that as far as an active Army family, our days are numbered. Through prayer, tears, fits of anger, and doubt.....we fully believe that God knows what He is doing and perhaps our Army journey has come to an end. I wrote about my feelings on this subject a week or so back, and I showed my true feelings on the matter. I said that I felt like that I was already on the outside...not an Army wife anymore. One of my friends reminded me, "Once and Army Wife, always an Army Wife!" I fully believe the same goes for an Army family. It doesn't matter what happens, because we have given so much of ourselves to this lifestyle that it will never truly leave us and vice-versa. I am proud of T for what he has accomplished and I am so happy that he has gotten to live out a childhood dream. He is an awesome Soldier, but he is an even awesome-er (yeah, I went there!) husband, father, and man of God. My hero always!


SGT. Moser!

Now that I have all THAT out of the way, allow me to catch you up on some other details, and because I am a mother....you know that I have to tell you the latest accomplishment from my little guy. :) TJ can pull himself up on anything now and is starting to test his own balance. It is a pretty neat thing to witness as he holds on with one hand while slowly letting go with the other....waiting until he is perfectly balanced before carefully lifting up the one hand and standing freely. Of course, if he knows there is someone watching him, then proceeds to plop on the floor. The little guy is just amazing; he says "Da" all the time looking for T. He also says "va-va" to me all the time, so maybe I am va-va instead of mama, who knows? We are also house hunting, and that is one tedious task from across the big pond. Who ever thought that sitting and staring at house after house could be exhausting? If anyone knows of a great home in the Summerville/Charleston SC area, please let me know!

Well, that about does it for the update I suppose. I know, I know....it won't be another year before I update again. I am committing to posting at least once per week. Not only is this a great way for you all to see how we're doing, but it is very therapeutic as well! This blog is not written for entertainment purposes, unless I post about an awesome dish I prepare (a rarity, but it happens).

Tschuss!
Mama Bear

He's an on time God...but apparently I am LATE!

2010-02-23T06:26:00.000-05:00

Hello all! It has been over a year since our last post....this just proves that procrastination and I need to part ways, does it not? First, I want to give the glory to God and honor His holy name because of everything that He has done for us this past year. Secondly, I want to apologize for being so late on the updates. Life happens, people get on your nerves, you get stuck in a rut, and God pulls you out by doin' something wonderful. This is our life. Where did we leave off last? Oh yeah, it was Feb. of LAST YEAR (do you see how bad I am about these things?) and we were still TTC. Well, that train has stopped and set up shop for the next 9 months, technically just 3 1/2 more to go because we found out last October that we are expecting! Isn't God good? However, we had to go through some things to get to this point. We suffered another loss this past summer and it was a devastating one. God really shows who is in charge when the going gets tough, huh? We prayed over our lost baby and while I recovered physically and emotionally, so did my husband. When a couple loses a child, no matter the age of the child, it is devastating to BOTH parents...something a lot of women tend to forget. We became closer to each other and drew closer to God for comfort and peace. Some other things happened too...my little brother welcomed his daughter into the world (Sophia Love is her name) and I won the 2009 Operation Rising Star competition for Baumholder (don't hate, it takes guts!). I made some wonderful friends, saw friends leave, and took some time for me. That is what brings me to today! God, husband, son, family, friends,school, self. In that order. That is my life right now. Oh you caught that huh? Yeah, Travis and I are expecting a son! Both of our prayers were answered with this little guy, we call him TJ because he will carry daddy's name. In other baby related news, we have decided to cloth diaper our son. This decision comes with a lot of negative remarks from people. "You won't be able to keep up with laundry", "Isn't that unsanitary?", and my personal favorite "Do you think you will be able to go through with it?" I politely thank you for your concerns, but Travis and I are dedicated to giving our boy the best possible of everything we can. So rather than put some plastic chemical laden disposable diaper on his bum, we are going to put pure cotton and hemp on his tushy. Laundry is never ending for me anyway, what is another load a day? Yes, we will keep with it. From time to time we may have to use disposable diapers (emergency trips, no access to washer, etc.) but TJ will have fuzzy buns for the most part. The nice thing is these are not your mama's cloth dipes. We are talking so easy to change and clean, I don't understand why more families don't use them! JESUS wore cloth diapers people!! :) I have also decided that I am going to do a good portion of my labor at home, because I really want to do this naturally; keeping my son as drug free as possible. Yes, I know it will hurt and yes I know that I will likely beg for drugs at some point...these things I do not deny. However, I am not going for the hero award here...I just have a fear of c-sections and long needles being put into my back. I don't even like getting my blood drawn and don't get me started on IV's *shudders*. Apparently we can't give birth at home, so we will eventually end up at the hospital. That about does it for now. Travis and I are doing great by the way. I am due for another belly shot soon, so I will post one as soon as possible. In the mean time, here is a shot of our little man to satiate your baby need!

Yes, we are alive....

2009-02-12T04:13:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone!

I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update, between school, church, and my music (not to mention Twilight) life has been busy for me. I am taking three classes this time around and a majority of my time is spent reading or online "in" the class. I rarely get out of the house anymore and when I do, I usually fall behind on school work. On top of that I have stuff for church going on and then on top of that I am writing some music and learning how to play piano/guitar. So, my plate is full. I am considering taking a break from EPC certification until things calm down around here and I have prayed over it; I am just waiting for God to answer me!

Travis has been doing a lot of stuff for Rear-D lately, like extra duty and extra staff duty. I am not sure how he feels about his old unit (1-28) as he never really talks about them, he just says he misses Fort Riley. His new unit is really nice, I think. Everyone is very polite and I get along great with all his "bosses."

We are planning a trip to Rome; our first REAL trip since we arrived here last September. God willing, we will be going to see some awesome things. Pray for us, we really want to go!

Thats about it for now, there really is not anything else going on. We miss all of you and pray for you every day.

Lots of Love and God's Blessings,

Travis and Sally

Surgery, Twilight, and stuff.....

2009-01-27T10:03:00.000-05:00

Hello Everyone,

Hope this update finds you all well! It has been an interesting couple weeks here for the Mosers! First, I had surgery (laparascopy and small procedure) last week to check for scar tissue in my pelvic area and make sure I have no obstructions in the baby making area. For my first surgery EVER and being that it was in a foreign country, it was not that bad. The nurses were very nice to Travis and I, and my room-mate (yes, you get room mates here) was a nice german woman who spoke English and I thanked God for that! The news is I am free and clear and as soon as my body is ready, we can start TTC again. Even though the surgery was a week ago, I am still feeling a bit woozy and "clouded", as a friend put it earlier today. During the course the past few weeks, I have discovered and emmersed myself, in the saga/fantasy/romance known simply as "Twilight." I have been so into this series, and its hardly like me as I am not really into the whole vampire/werewolf thing, know what I mean? What catches my fancy is love story between to very different, yet similar, individuals. Yes, I have watched the movie and yes it was a bit disappointing, but any book translated to the silver screen generally loses some of the pazazz along the way. So needless to say, you can now call me a Twilighter..and I couldnt care less! In other news, Travis has been very busy with Rear-D and has staff duty several times a month, sometimes even more than twice a week. We are doing great together and are nearly complete with our EPC requirements, which means we are steps away from being able to help military children. The weather in Germany is hard to get used to, but at least there isnt snow to speak of (thank God!). I miss the sunshine of Kansas, even with the whipping winds and all that. Guess I should start taking some vitamin D to supplement huh? Thats about it for now, thanks for stopping by! God Bless!!

~Sally

PRAISE GOD!!

2009-01-12T03:38:00.000-05:00

Travis went in for the results of his x-rays today and was told that the curvature in his spine and the uneven-ness of his shoulder had disappeared and it appears that he only has a knot in his muscle that is working itself out. I am so happy, and I know that this isnt anything but God's work and the prayers of all our family and friends. This is the best news today by far! Thank you so much to all those who kept Travis in your thoughts and prayers...they were definately heard. "By His stripes, we are healed." I have been praying that God would reveal Himself to Travis in a big way, to encourage Travis to reconnect with God, and I pray that this is it! I am so excited I am walking on cloud nine, giving God all the glory and praise that He deserves!! Oh yeah, Travis gets his CPL rank today (not Sgt, but he is one step closer).

Thank You Jesus!!

~Sally

Small update...

2009-01-08T04:01:00.000-05:00

Well Travis was able to go in for his x-rays yesterday. He had to wait another day because their machines were down. He was supposed to go back in this morning to discuss the findings, but his "boss" had other plans. Travis and I talked about it the night before last and yesterday, and we decided no matter what happens, we are going to be happy with whatever God has planned for us. The WTU here is awesome, if he needs to go there, and I know that we will have everything we need. We will be just as happy if we get to stay, because we love this lifestyle; good and bad. More than anything though, his health is what is important. We are still praying for his back to have no problems. God can heal. I know he can. Travis and I appreciate the many prayers that you all have sent us are saying for us. Nothing lifts a soul like prayer, and believe me...its needed. We continue to pray for all of you as well. In other non-bad-news related...er..news, Travis and I are getting closer becoming EPC parents. We took our CPR class yesterday and passed the exam straight after class, WOOHOO! I am taking the First Aid class today, and hopefully I pass that one too. After that its just a matter of submitting the application, one joint interview, and one more health and sanitation inspection...then BAM! we will be official EPC parents. We got a really good recommendation from Travis' Captain, who is a really nice man that just happens to go the same service we do. I was also asked to sing at another memorial service, and I told them I would, but I really needed a break..those things take a toll on a person. I didnt have to sing, because they found someone else. It was nice to have a break.

I re-read my new years resolutions for this year and yes...I already broke one. But you know what? Its ok, because sometimes you have to fail to succeed. I dont really feel bad about anything anymore. God and I had a really long talk, and He told me that if He can take care of a lily in the field and make sure it has everything it needs...then He most certainly can take care of me. Thats the one thing about God that I love so much. He lets me try to figure it out on my own, and just when I think I am going to fall over the edge...He catches me, every single time. I am not a perfect Christian...nobody is, no matter how much they try to make it seem like they are, but everytime God pulls me back, I resist Him less and less. Almost as if I am learning my lesson, slowly but surely. I am thankful that this world is not my home, and that I am just passing through.

School starts in less than 2 weeks and I am so excited about it!! I have always been a bit of a nerd, lol. Algebra, Philosophy, and Communications...thats what I am taking this time around. I hope that I can make up for the several months I was out of school because of the move....aaa, I know I will.

We are planning a trip to Paris!! We hope to be able to go within the next month or so. It wont be a very long trip, because the girls will need to be tended to, but it will be long enough to enjoy!! I cannot wait to the city of love!! Oh, and it snowed here recently....I took a pic of part of Baumholder, enjoy! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

~Sally

Testing, testing....is this thing on?

2009-01-05T08:03:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, Travis was injured within the first 60 days of his deployment. A vertebrae in his spine was fractured, and he was allowed a week or two rest. But because of the nature of his job while deployed, I am quite certain that his back did not have a chance to heal properly, and he has been having problems with it ever since. He has been really leary of going to the doctor about his back pain for the same reason any soldier who doesnt want to get "med boarded" out; he loves his job too much to lose it. Truth be told, I empathised with him, but when he started to complain of his left side going numb more and more...I told him he needed to get it checked out. He finally went into sick-call today, for those that dont know...its where soldiers go first thing in the morning to get any potential medical concerns checked out. The doctor he saw told him that his shoulders are uneven and that his spine has a curve to it. She doesnt think it is scoliosis (which is what I initially thought) because this would have been detected prior to his enlistment in the Army. Instead she said it may be due to tightened muscles on one side, causing this uneven-ness. She prescribed him muscle relaxers and is having him go back tomorrow for some x-rays, with a follow up on Wednesday. Aside from my husbands health, I am concerned for his career. I have been praying for a long time that God would heal Travis' back, but God is taking His time with this one...among other requests I have. I know that He will never leave us nor forsake us...but its still hard not to worry about Travis or how we will survive if he has to leave the Army. Travis said he isnt worried, and I told him that I was giving this to God, because this is one problem even I dont have an answer to. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to us its a very big deal. I am trying to be optomistic and trust God knows what He is doing, but at the same time I cannot help but think of the "what if's" of the situation. All this on top of Travis' Christmas gift still not getting here and my school books not here either. My classes start in two weeks and I have no sign of my text books. So far, 2009 has not started out very well. Getting pregnant doesnt even seem that important to me anymore at this point. Can you believe I just said that? WOW. There are bigger fish to fry and right now I think children would make things a little more stressful. I know the Lord will tarry and everything will work out..but what will the end result be? I dont know....its not my place to know the future. As the subject of this blog implies....I am speaking to God but I wonder if He hears me. I am asking for your prayers that everything works out. Pray for Travis that God would heal his back and make him healthy, both spiritually and physically. Travis' faith is shaky right now, and he needs God to reveal Himself in a big way. I thank you all for your undying love and support. The Moser's have had a rough couple of years, and knowing that you all stand with us in prayer and love..makes the hardship worth while. Of course, if it werent for God we wouldnt have a chance...but that goes without saying. I know it seems my blogs have been a little on the negative side lately....but with all the small issues adding up and no solution in sight for us...it has been hard to find the silver lining. We love you all, and miss you so very much. I will keep you posted on what goes on.

Thanks and God Bless

~Sally

2008 Year in Review

2008-12-29T02:50:00.000-05:00

December 2007: That was the month of the big ice storm which knocked out power to nearly all of Fort Riley's residents and all other surrounding areas. I bought a new laptop to take with me to my mom and dads, who I visited over Christmas. Travis was still down range.

January 2008: I had been out of work now for just about 3 months and was really starting to go stir crazy. I spent most of January hanging out with friends and waiting for Travis to get home.

February 2008: I got a nice bouquet of flowers from Travis and celebrated the 1 year mark of the deployment with some friends. This is also when Jane moved back, and I was happy to accommodate Jane, her dad, and Corbin for the night.

March 2008: We started to hear rumors about when the guys were coming back. Nobody could say for sure, but we all had a feeling it would be within the next month or so. I also celebrated St. Patricks day with Lisa...who is 100% Irish by the way! She cooked a real Irish feast...yumo! This month, however, was not so good for some of us though...as we lost another young man from our unit. While I had only been acquaintences with him, he was a good friend of Travis' and well loved by C Co. RIP O'Brien . His was the first memorial service I had ever gone to.

April 2008: Travis redeployed this month!! Could not have asked for more. He was one of the first people home, who came with the big crowds. April for sure, was the best month for me this year. The Moser's were together again. This month also marked the year anniversary for me attending Grace Community Church, the church that will always feel like home to me. This month we also bought the TV that is now in our livingroom. TTC officialy resumed this month, which high expectations.

May 2008: We went on a much needed and much deserved vacation to Florida. Then we trecked back home to visit family and friends. It was wonderful to see Travis interacting with everyone, home where he should be. We also bought our Garmin GPS this month....something I had wanted for a long time! My niece Isabell was born this month, she is a beauty! BFN.

June 2008: We started to go through our house and set aside items that we were going to donate, just to cut down on things to pack for our move. Although we knew we would be PCSing to Germany...it still was not a reality for us. Also, had another HSG this month, which revealed that I have a slight bicornuate uterus but not bad enough that it would affect pregnancy, according to the doctor. Another BFN. Pregnant women were starting to pop up everywhere, and I wanted to be part of that.

July 2008: Celebrated Travis' 23rd birthday, went to the Sundown Salute with our good friends the Gonzalez's and had a really good month until the BFN.

August 2008: Travis and I went out to dinner with Br. Larry and suggested we renew our wedding vows. We took up the offer and Pastor Bryan and the church supplied everything for us and FOR FREE! We renewed our vows in a church, in front of God and everyone. This was an extremely momentous ocassion for us both. We were getting in a time crunch as PCS'ing was near. Our HHG and UAB was packed and shipped this month. BFN.

September 2008: We dropped off our car, headed to the airport with cats in tow, and flew to Germany! Our flight just happened to be on our anniversary and the flight crew gave us a complimentary bottle of champagne. We tried it, but found that neither one of us care for champagne. The flight was long and painful, but we made it at last. We also got our USAEUR licenses and rented a car this month too. The trip made AF late, so we thought I was KU, but it turned out to be a BFN. I was really missing church by this point. I also met Renee and Katie this month!! Two very good friends who have helped the transition into Baumholder worth the while. Oh, and my 27th birthday was this month.

October 2008: We FINALLY got all of our HHG and UAB making our house look like a home. We were still having to rent a car, as ours still wasnt here. I went for a referral appt at the health clinic here and that was a disaster, so I started seeing Dr. Matu, who immediately did some blood workup on me and we started the infertility diagnosis. Needless to say, another BFN. I also started going to the Good News Service here on post in Chapel 1. Its a Gospel service and its nice. The service on Wednesday, is full Gospel like I am used to. What a God send!! He knew what I needed, and put it in my life.

November 2008: Dr. Matu determined that I dont ovulate early enough and thats why my cycles are getting longer and longer. In fact, I may not even ovulate some cycles. We had our first thanksgiving in Germany, with Renee and Katie and man was it wonderful! I also made a new friend, Lu. She is German and lives right next door. We got our car this month, and couldnt have been happier! Finally, we dont have to shell out euro to rent a car anymore. It wasnt that hard getting it registered either. I have also taken many classes at ACS, including EPC training. Travis and I are going to become EPC parents, how exciting! BFN.

December 2008: Dr. Matu is getting really expensive, since I have to pay for everything in euro. The chief nurse from the clinic called about my appt in October and apologized for everything that went wrong. She got it to where I can see a Tricare PPN and it would be fully covered (except for IUI/IVF..which I know). Unfortunately, I wont be seeing Dr. Matu any longer, but its only because he doesnt take my insurance. New Dr. is Vander Osten in Birkenfeld. First appt is Jan. 12. We celebrated our first Christmas together since the deployment, and it has been wonderful! I experienced my first Green Christmas here in Baumholder, what with no snow and all. It has only snowed once or twice and melted away. Thats ok, I heard we will be getting plenty more later on. We had a huge Christmas dinner and were happy to fellowship with friends and make new ones. I also sang at a memorial service for the first time, what an honor.

Cannot wait to see what the new year has in store. I have faith that 2009 will be the year of Gods people, and surely He will provide for us in all ways. I know that there were other significant things that happened this past year as well, but at the moment I cannot recall what they are. Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day. Many blessings and love for the new year!

God bless!!

~Sally

Christmas and early New Years Resolutions...

2008-12-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

Hello! I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas, and the love of God shone through all the headaches that seem to come around this time of year....kind of a paradox huh? Anyway, we had a great Christmas together and had a HUGE dinner with some friends. I love to have people over for dinner. I am not big into etiquette or napkin rings or any type of formal gatherings...I am not THAT complicated. I just like to have friends over to laugh, eat, and fellowship. It wa really nice to have people over, and we were all missing our families and some their husbands. I feel very blessed that Travis and I were able to be together this year. Even though I was with family last year, I still missed my husband and was sad on Christmas. We had the usual feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni salad, desert pies and a cake, and our friends brought some wings and a really tasty sicilian meat roll and a dirt cake...YUMMY!! Needless to say, I will be doing some extra walking over the next few months, just to make sure this holiday season didnt TOTALLY ruin my diet! I also decided that I was going to make my new years resolutions early this year. I have given them some thought...and here they are.

Become a better vessel for Christ, getting closer to Him
Become the wife that God wants me to be
Trust God with all my difficulties in life and truly give Him all my problems
Stop over eating and emotional eating
Take better care of my body by eating healthy and exercising more
Let God use me for His will, instead of my own
Keep in touch with family and friends moreso than what I do now
Not worry about anything
Do as much traveling as I can
Pray every day for an hour, and fast 1 day a week

I know these might sound ambitious and "religious" (did I mention that I dont like that word??), but when my relationship with Christ is good, everything else will fall into place. I am really hoping that I can stick to these resolutions. I pray that each of you can fulfill yours as well...even if you dont make resolutions, I know you must have goals you want to accomplish. Well, take care and God bless. Thanks for stopping by!

48 months...

2008-12-16T01:04:00.001-05:00

So we have another failed attempt at getting pregnant.....we have been actively trying now for jut over 4 years (as long as we've been married). That is 48 failed attempts at pregnancy...wow. I was really upset about it yesterday, and it hit me really hard for some reason. I think my mind and my body are getting exhausted, and considering that we dont really have any more money in the bank (because living in Germany is expensive) our finances are exhausted. Yeah, so yesterday was not good for me. I let the enemy steal my joy......not anymore. Not to say that I wont have my bad days, but not like this...not anymore. Sometimes I forget that God is bigger than me and my problems.....I am sorry God. I forget what is right in front of my face, what I have now; a wonderful home to live in, food to eat, a nice car to drive, and most of all a husband who means more to be than anyone else in this fallen world. We are still going to pursue TTC, but with a different mind set...at least from my end. Why should I expect God to bless me with children, when I am not being thankful or acknowledging what is already in front of me? How selfish and silly I have been. Forgive me Lord, for my soul was not right with you. God's word will not be returned void....I know that we will get what we pray for in His time. Thanks for listening and God Bless.

~Sally

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

2008-12-01T14:07:00.000-05:00

So we have decorated for the Christmas Holiday, and it is a really wonderful feeling to hang up the pretty ornaments and sing Christmas songs while you're doing so. I love the holidays and all the meanings behind them. Here are some pictures of our livingroom area, enjoy!

The stockings hung on our "family wall" with care...
The angel nativity made from sand-stone.
One side of our living room (just for show!)
A close-up of one of the ornaments...just messing with my camera. Can you see the photographer?
Our Christmas Tree, complete with reindeer guardians!

We have gotten some snow here in Baumholder, but nothing too bad and that is alright with me!! Travis has been on a rather strange detail the last couple of weeks, which is a nice change from him having to do CP or staff duty. Travis has been busy constructing "Christmas Houses" at the DFAC, and he is proud of his work. Here are some pictures of his accomplishments (which is earning him another medal and already earned him some more coins!!).

Travis' most recent addition.

His first 3 houses.

We are excited for our first Christmas together since the deployment and anxiously await the blessings before us!! God is great and greatly to be praised! Blessings to all!

~Travis and Sally

Counting my blessings...even when they are few.

2008-11-27T16:52:00.000-05:00

I went back to the German RE today. Not so good news. As it turns out my HDL-C (good cholesterol) is extremely low. In fact, he says, it is the lowest he has seen in all his years. What does this mean? According to the doctor this means that 30 years have been shaved off my life and heart disease or stroke could come in at any moment and claim me!! You know what I say? This is the super duper kick in the rear I needed to get myself motivated...and this is a trial worth thanking God for. Contrary to what the blog title says, I have abundant blessings in my life. I may not have the best material blessings, or lots of people showering me with affection, but what I do have is so much better in comparison. I have life, and after today I am not going to let any sickness or disease take me away from it. Sometimes I get a bug in my ear and forget that God can and does run things a lot better than me...and then He reminds of that by getting my attention. I have been praying for motivation to lose weight and get healthy, for months I have been praying for this. Talk about a shout out loud answer to a prayer. I hear you God and I am not going to let this get the better of me!! I will beat this thing with YOUR help!! So I thank God that I am going to get in better shape and get healthy. I thank God for His blood that covers every sickness and disease known to man, and that He is the great Healer. Today's news has renewed my thirst for the Lord and for life. Sometimes we think we have gotten the short end of the stick and we complain, forgetting that all the while God has already set in motion, a plan for us to prosper....then all of a sudden BAM! His plan is ever so evident. Ladies and gentlemen, Sally will get better. Today truly is a day of Thanksgiving for me. Giving thanks for love, humor, intelligence, good friends, communication, and love...but most of all thankful for the Heavenly Father and His undying love for me and that He loves me so much He would give me the motivation I need to get healthy. I love you Jesus, you are the best.

Germany Pics

2008-11-24T15:33:00.000-05:00

Travis and the rented Mercedes...

Idar-Oberstein, Germany

Kaiserslautern, Germany a.k.a. "K-Town"

Our badetzimmer (bathroom)

Kusel Castle Ruins, Kusel Germany

Kusel, Germany

Sally at Kusel Castle

Carlos and Travis, Edelweiss Lodge in Garmisch, Germany

Bavarian Alps, Garmisch Germany

Bavarian Alps

Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany (a.k.a. Disney castle)

Entrance to Neuschwanstein Castle grounds

Travis and Sally at Neuschwanstein

Hohenschwangau, King Ludwig's Childhood Home

These are only the tip of the iceberg as far as pictures go!! The castles here in Germany are beautiful and very famous around the world. We hope to see many more and be on the look out for more pics of our home (we finally have it put together, for the most part). God bless!!

~The Moser's

Been awhile...

2008-11-24T04:05:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to let everyone know where we are at right now. We started seeing a new German RE, named Dr. Matu and he is a God send, believe me! This man has helped countless couples conceive and he tells us that he sees us pregnant within 6 months....all this he says before he runs any labs or scans. I am thoroughly impressed. He is a sweet man, intelligent doctor, and a very compassionate one as well. He even let Travis in on the conversation which most docs do not. Travis FINALLY understood (from a males point of view) everything that was/was not happening with our fertility. Travis now has to go to Homburg to have a sperm analysis (SA) done to find out how many/quality/etc. I have already had many blood labs ran and a scan to map out my uterus and ovaries....which had absolutely no follicles or cysts....so we are thinking that I do NOT have PCOS (thank you Jesus). However, we are not out of the woods just yet as we need to make sure my ovaries are producing good quality follicles and eggs and that we dont need any ovulation inducing meds. I go back in on Thanksgiving day to have another scan, just to see if we have follicles...and please pray that we do!! So as far as our fertility, that is where we are!!

Moving on to other things, Travis is really becoming excited about becoming a daddy and it shows. I went downstairs the other day to grab some baby clothes, as I was going to go through them and give our brothers the extra stuff, and Travis and I were looking through the clothes just oooing and aaahing about how cute they were. For the first time, he actually picked up a onesie and looked at it like he was imagining his son wearing it....talk about a tear jerker!! So needless to say, I am thankful to God that He has broken the yoke in Travis' heart...and my husband is FINALLY excited about being parents. Speaking of God.....I have started going to the chapel here on post, the Good News Service...its a Gospel service here on post and the chaplain comes from a Pentecostal background!! I was really happy that God put that church here for me to go to. Travis and God are still working things out, but I have faith that Travis will move closer to God very soon and it wont be long before he will be in church again. I love God, He is so good to me even when I am not so good to Him. Being back in church has really opened my spirit back up and I am feeling like myself again. I havent been in church since late August and it was really starting to take its toll on me. The enemy really likes to mess with me when I am not in church. Dont get me wrong, I am a STRONG woman of God, but not being in church or around other believers takes its toll on me and the enemy will sneak in through any means necessary. I am getting out of this rut, and I am feeding the spiritual woman inside. Fasting, prayer, and obedience are part of my life once again and it feels wonderful. I am even going to join the choir! The chaplain talked about spiritual gifts and how everyone has at least one and its their job to use it. I knew right away the spiritual gifts I have been given, one of them being my singing ministry. In that moment, I knew God was telling me I was going to sing again....and I love Him for that. Singing for people about God or just singing in an empty room to God....that is what feeds my soul and helps me to overcome adversitites. I know it sounds silly to say that singing helps me...but it does. There is such an annointing in music, and when I sing about Jesus and people hear me....I know that the words I sing touch them deep down in their souls in places they forgot even existed. This isnt bragging or saying that I have the best voice in the world...this simply means that God has chosen me to sing to people and spread His word through music....and I do just that. I love to sing anyways, and I have been doing it since I can remember...this is just a way for me to use my talent for good. I have also been witnessing to people, one person in particular. She is so young and vulnerable and I can see in her eyes that she is hungry for love. God has opened a wonderful door of opportunity for me to help bring this lost lamb back to the good shepard. This young woman is looking for a safe place and a savior, although she didnt know it at first, and slowly but surely I am helping her to open her heart and mind to God and all His tender mercies. So much in fact, that after the first conversation we had....she told me she started to pray. Can you believe that? Talk about warm fuzzies! I knew God placed us in each others lives for that very reason. She is a wonderful person and I hope and pray for her salvation to come one day very soon, and I have faith that it will. If it werent for my spiritual mother, Mary, who never gave up on me after 3 years of talking to me about God and inviting me to church....I never would have given my life to God and I would not be who or where I am today. I know its not easy to shake off the habits of this sinful life and start anew....living for God is NOT easy by any means, but there is no greater joy or peace than when we know we always have a safe place to land in the Lord's loving hands. I love that God gave His life for our sins that we may be able to reside with Him in heaven one sweet day. I love that He said our sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west (one of my FAV songs too) and that He forgets them and remembers them no more. I love that God loved us enough to come to earth and be with us, to experience what we experienced, to live how we lived, to eat and drink what we eat and drink, and to die for us because He loves us. My pastor always said, "This life is just a dressing room for the next life, I am just passing through, thank God this world is not my home." I thank the Lord that famine, suffering, weeping, mourning, death, sin, destruction, war, abuse, rape, murder, divorce, infertility, sadness, anger, and strife will not surround me forever. I take comfort in knowing I will soon be in the Fathers house, with many mansions. I am not where I need to be, but I am getting to where I will be going. Heaven is my home.

God Bless!

All over the place.....

2008-10-20T10:54:00.000-04:00

Things are going alright these days. I am still very frustrated with our internet service because it goes in and out nearly every 5 minutes, and that worries me for when its time to take online classes. I am not sure if its our computer or the ISP itself...either way it needs to be fixed. I made an appointment with a fertility doctor because I dont feel like waiting on the army hospital here to take its sweet time getting me a referral and my biological clock is not getting any younger. I see him for a consult next wednesday and I am excited and praying that 1.) I get information I need 2.) It is not a ridiculous amount of money and 3.) That this doc and his staff can actually help us achieve a live birth or 2..or 3. Travis has had a lot of responsibility laid on him at this new unit, for someone who was so obviously not ready for it as per his last unit...but thats a whole other cup of tea. This new unit has even recommended him for a good conduct medal as well as sending him to the board to get his E-5. He has been doing a lot of staff duty and other silly details, but he is an outstanding soldier and does what he is told. Lately I feel as though I have been doing a lot of complaining....and I know I have. I have complained about Germany, the people here, housing, transportation, my husband, myself, the computer, the internet, cell phones, our car....whatever. I am so sorry that it has been that way. I am super homesick and not even having the conveniences I am used to is really taking its toll on me. I am a strong person, but it will take a few more months to fully adapt to life outside of the states. I cant wait for our household goods to arrive because all I want is my own comfy couch and bed. I miss going to church and its having a major affect on me spiritually. I need God so much in my life and I need to be around others who love Him as much as I do and its so hard feeling like the only true Christian amongst a bunch of people who go out partying, swearing up a storm, gossiping, and doing God knows what else. I feel so drained sometimes and I cant even clear my mind enough to pray the way I need to. My soul needs restored and my flesh is very weak right now. I have been praying for a new church to go to, and God will tarry for me. The cats are doing well, they have adjusted but miss sleeping on their couch and walking on carpet, lol. They will lay on the floor and get up almost 10 minutes later, they miss the comfy fuzzy carpet under their bodies. They love bird watching here, and because there are so many birds, the girls go nuts!! We are coming up on the anniversary of losing our baby, and it still tears me up inside when I think about it, but really I am at peace overall. God has plans and its not in His will for me to be all knowing about why things happen in my life. Each other, family, minor conveniences, God, church, babies, and our household goods are really what we want right now and then I think the whining will die down. Until then, we are working on it. Thanks for reading and as always, God Bless!!

~Sally and Travis

Moser's on the Move!!!

2008-08-12T15:17:00.000-04:00

Moving to Germany is right around the corner for us! We sent off our unaccompanied baggage yesterday and boy did it feel good to get rid of some of that stuff! We are for sure going to try and donate more stuff to Goodwill so we dont have that much clutter. Too many "things" just hanging around collecting dust, ya know? You never really know how much you have until you move. Of course, having a hutch to put some of these things in, would really help! Now we are "practice packing" our suitcases, just to see what will fit and what will not. We will be send most of our stuff with household goods, but our essentials (clothes, shoes, etc) will go with us on the plane, as will Tink and Bell. Travis has been playing as much of his PS3 as he can before its packed up and I have been trying to relax (I've been too stressed out lately). No baby news yet, not that thats anything new to you all but still, seeing a BFN on that test every month is pretty overwhelming. We are just keeping faith in God and trusting in Him to give us children of our own soon. We are supposed to get our car today....well we were supposed to get it last friday but they were backed up and hadnt even started on our car yet. Talk about really frustrated. They were nice though and said that the rental would be on them from there on out, so that was nice. Will update with more when I can! God Bless!

~Travis and Sally

2008-07-13T23:21:00.000-04:00

So we will be moving in just over a month to Baumholder, Germany. Things have been really hectic for us lately and Picerne will be here in a week or so to do our quarters "pre-inspection" just to make sure our place isnt torn apart and to let us know if we may have to pay for anything (yeah right!). We also have our appt this month with transportation to confirm our pack and move dates. To top it off, our vehicle got hit in the parking lot of the px on Friday. Tomorrow morning I am taking it to the dealer to have an estimate. We are praying that the car is fixed before we move, the port wont take it if it is damaged and understandably so. I am not so worried about it though, I have faith that God will give us someone to fix our car right and do it in time for the move. Our cats have their handy little travel kennels and I am sure they will like them for a short time on the plane before they get cabin fever. The good news is Germany doesnt have a mandatory quarantine for animals coming in country so we wont have to be seperated from the girls longer than the flight is. Travis goes before the E-5 board in August and we are praying that God blesses him with this leadership position as it is crucial for Travis and at a deciding point in his military career (as in, this will decide whether or not he wants to stay in). Thats about it for now. Thanks for reading and God bless! This will be the last update for a while because our internet is getting shut off on Tuesday.

From this....to that

2008-06-18T11:33:00.000-04:00

I know I know, its been a LONG while since I last updated my blog. Big whoop, I have had a lot to deal with lately. Aside from a false positive when taking an HPT (pardon the acronyms, its my language now) and then having to undergo another HSG, we are moving to Germany and the process is draining. Passports, orders, shipping instructions, briefings, and schedules are my life now. Somewhere in there I am trying to maintain a positive attitude about TTC and trying not to be negative about this move (will they steal our stuff??). I love God, dont get me wrong, but when is enough enough? I know that He is bigger than anything and everything and everyone, but why am I having trouble trusting Him in this one area? For crying out loud (which I tend to do a lot of lately) He formed Himself a body in the womb of a VIRGIN (when I am far from nowadays) so why is He not forming a baby in my womb? I managed to get KU last year and I wasnt even on any meds. Of course we ALL know how that one ended...I am not mad at God for that anymore because I realize that He didnt do that to me. I try to be positive everyday and let God know that I really do trust Him with this, when the fact is that I am struggling with just this little area. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR HIM TO HELP ME GET KU?? Crackheads, bad parents, child molesters, pedophiles, and murderers become parents every single day...people who would rather throw their precious children off of bridges or give birth to babies in toilets during prom in between slow dance songs...but someone who would love a child of her own womb more than anything cannot even manage to sustain one pregnancy? HELP ME GOD where are you in all this? I took you out of this little box I had put you in for so very long, because I wanted you to work the miracles and Be God over my life...but where are you in this situation? My husband even prayed for me this morning. He even made a good point when he said, "Maybe God isnt giving you children because you arent grateful for what He has already given you." You know what? Sometimes the answers are so obvious and we continue looking at complex explanations. Maybe I am not grateful for what He has given me so far in my life. A wonderful husband, a great family who would do anything for me, friends to die for, and many blessings time and time again. God will not bless me with children if I cannot praise Him enough for what I have already. Talk about a revelation! Guess this blog kind of helped me with my struggles.....give God the glory for what I have and let His praises be continuously in my mouth...do not worry about the affairs of this world...if God gives the lily of a field a beautiful place to live and grow will He not provide for me what I need? Putting God first will result in Him putting you first. Want children? Be grateful for the family you already have so that you will have enough praises for Him when you do finally get the offspring you've been praying for. It is not the will of God to have any child harmed or murdered...the enemy is strong in those who are weak and sometimes the innocent get caught inbetween. God has a special place for those children, I know that. Thank you God for everything and everyone in my life. You have saved me from the snare of the enemy and provided for every need in my life. I look for you and there you are, I call out your name and you are beside me. My family, friends, and especially my husband...you have blessed me with these loved ones so that I may know love unconditionally and that I may give back that love by spreading your word. I love you Jesus, with all my heart. My hopes, dreams, and goals of becoming a mother are in Your hands. Your hands are capable and able. You are God alone. Nevermore will I worry or wonder. His eye is in the sparrow and I know He watches over me.

Redeployment and Getting back together!

2008-05-03T19:16:00.000-04:00

Well, Travis made it home safe from Iraq and I could not be happier! Going to the building where his ceremony was, waiting to see his face, seeing him for the first time in FOREVER, and being able to hold him in my arms again....what a night (or should I say morning) to behold! Prayers work, and my husband and the other soldiers who made it home are proof of that! I give God the glory for my husband making it home safe to me...there were so many nights I stayed up and cried and prayed for his safe return.

The fear of the unknown is what really can get to you when you are the spouse of a deployed soldier. I am so thankful that I had Jesus to call upon and friends and family to support me. I had to push that fear away from me and not accept any negative thoughts there at the end...to see Travis' smiling face again...I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint!

We have been doing so much since his return, as far as hanging out and making purchases and preparing for our move....and doing the TTC thing. I am excited because God has shown me that we will be getting our family very soon and you all will be surprised with what He has in store for us! Travis and I are enjoying getting to know each other again. I have fallen in love with him all over and it is wonderful. There really is something to be said for reuniting. God has brought us together and called us to be husband and wife, you can bet that neither one of us are going to argue with that! The Moser's are back together and stronger more spiritually filled than ever! I love him and he loves me..lol.

I suppose thats it for now. Dont worry, I will keep you all updated on the baby thing...God willing, this will be our month!

God Bless ~Travis and Sally

Happy New Year (LATE)

2008-01-14T18:50:00.000-05:00

Well Happy New Year to you all....a little late is better than never. It has been since I have blogged, but here goes. Travis should be home within the next few months and I am very excited about that. I am glad to see 2007 go, as it was a year of great disappointments and heartache. I am thankful that I am covered by the blood of Jesus and that I am His, and that I am forgiven. I still cry from time to time about the baby that Travis and I lost....and I still cry out for Travis at night sometimes. The only thing keeping me from going over the edge is God and His undying love for me. Sometimes in this life we are given many opportunities but are too wrapped up in the things of this world that we neglect to see those opportunities until they are passing us by. We need to take a step back and remember why we are put here on this earth. We are put here as ambassadors for Christ and so we can make connections with other human beings, in hopes to help draw them into salvation with our sweet Lord. I am thankful for my husband, even though we have had our terrible moments these past few months...I still love you with all my heart and soul and I thank God for you every day. I am so thankful for my family, my church family, and my friends. What would I do without any of you? God has put each and every one of you into my life...some just for a season...but all of you will be in my heart for the rest of my life. Thats all for now...

Be safe, Be strong, Be blessed.
~Sally

Sometimes....

2007-11-07T08:39:00.000-05:00

I really believe that God is testing my faith right now, with allowing these things happen to me. I have to be steadfast in His word and know that He is moving on my behalf and knows all that has/was/will happen to me. Though sometimes I know not what lies ahead of me or why things happen the way they do, I trust that the Lord will bring me to a blessed point in my life. He will not forget the promises He has for me and for Travis. I am not defeated, I have hope, faith, and love. the greatest is love. I trust you Lord completely in whatever path you lead me. Right now I am in a season of trials, but I will overcome them for this to shall pass. Did you ever wonder about that scripture when the Lord says, "Be still, and know that I am God." I believe He just wants us to stop flapping our jaws and just know that He is going to take care of our problems. Granted, we have to do our part. God wants us to our best, and He will do the rest. I will make it through this and I will come out on top, one way or the otehr because my Heavenly Father will not forsake me. I love you Jesus, and I praise your life giving name.

~Sally

R&R!

2007-10-16T14:23:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday and God Rest Your Soul

2007-09-08T18:02:00.000-04:00

Today is my brothers birthday. He would have been 28 years old today. His name is James Wirebaugh, and his spirit is alive through the memories and stories I have shared with my Sister Bryan today. Things do not just happen...God makes things happen, and He put my brother on my mind and I spoke of him with Sister Bryan. James had a troubled childhood, and dealt with his problems the best way he knew how. Eventually, that is what lead to his unfortunate and untimely death. We miss you Jim. Kenny misses you the most. God be with my little brother and show him that the ways he living are not your ways and that you are God and can provide for him. Show me Lord, what I can do to help my brother Kenny come to your sweet salvation. In Jesus Name~Amen.

Happy Birthday James and God Rest Your Soul

Happy Anniversary!

2007-09-04T23:32:00.000-04:00

Travis and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday, over a lovely phone conversation consisting mostly of I love you's and I miss you's! I came home from work today to find A GORGEOUS arrangement of white roses (my FAV!) sitting in a beautiful vase at my doorstep. I feel so blessed to have this man as my partner in life. I trust him completely with our marriage and I praise God every single day for giving me such a wonderful blessing as Travis. While it is hard to celebrate occasions such as these over the phone, it makes the moments we have together that much sweeter. I am blessed and I cannot say it enough! Now all we need to make our family whole, is the little pitter patters of feet running around. God will make it happen for us. He gave Hannah a child after she prayed and petitioned Him for a son. Just as she asked God for a son, so shall Travis and I petition God for a child. I believe He will bless us, and I have faith that it will be soon. The Bible says to speak faith into things and to call those that be not as though they were. We will be parents, in Jesus name!

Happy Anniversary Sweet Thang!

~Sally

growl

2007-08-18T22:57:00.000-04:00

Travis called me today and told me when he was expected to come home, but we didnt get to talk for very long so I dont know if he leaving Kuwait on that date or if he is due in the states on that date. CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING!!?!? Of course I cant get ahold of him, so Im getting even more frustrated and irritable. I have been growing more and more irritable lately, but thats just because I am getting anxious to see Trav and my emotions are running high. DEAL WITH IT! Just let me be with my husband for those sweet 18 days, and I guarantee I will be as playful as a kitten and as lovable as a puppy dog. I WANT HIM HOME NOW!!!! This is not going to be a very good blog tonight, so I apologize. I have been writing things for english class and already I'm sick of looking at this computer screen. *Gasp* I know..me...sick of a computer??!! NO WAY! Yes, I am afraid it is true. Must mean enough for today. Well you all take care and God Bless!

Love ya!
Sally

FORGOT

2007-08-14T22:10:00.000-04:00

We had to put the adoption on a hold due to unforseen issues. This decision was a very heartbreaking one for me and Travis. We really had our hearts set on becoming mommy and daddy. Travis was looking forward to coming home to his son or daughter. We praise God though, even through this tuff time. We know that He is preparing us for something really big. I have a feeling, a strong spiritual feeling that our time to parent is coming up. I am not sure when, but I am sure it is coming. This life is all about Faith, Family, and Friends. We need to have faith in God that He will give us what we need. We will be parents, and I speak this in Faith.

In Him,
The Moser's

BLABBER!

2007-08-14T21:42:00.000-04:00

I am officially a college student! I am taking two courses right now, and I couldn't be more excited! I am a little concerned as to how this will work out when Travis comes home for R&R. I am not too worried though, because I know that God will take care of it, and He will make a way for me to enjoy the time with my husband and take care of my school! I already had to take a couple of quizzes and one test. I also have somewhat of a big assignment due as well! I get to do homework again...I am really excited! I missed being in school. Why didnt I do this sooner??! I am taking English Comp. 1 and Basic Algebra. Dont laugh...you forget mathematics if you dont keep up with them! I have been out of school over 7 years now, give me a break! I am all prepared for late night study sessions, last minute assignments, and all the cool stuff. I just finished a good workout on the bowflex, which is always a good thing. I can listen to my IPOD and work out, which is really motivating for me. Speaking of the IPOD, does anyone else have a problem with the earbuds not staying in the ear? The opening in my left ear must be slightly different than that of my right ear, because the earbud keeps falling out of my left ear and its very irritating to say the least. Travis comes home soon, and I am THOROUGHLY excited about that. I cannot wait to see him and for him to see me. I hope I look better than when he left. I have been working out, so maybe. I still havent managed to sell our Grand Prix. I have had several calls on it, but nobody has actually come out to look at it yet. BUMMER! I want to get that thing sold so we can save money for moving next year. There is so much we have to do before then. God will take care of it, no need for me to sweat the big stuff right? RIGHT! Well, thats enough rambling for now. Love ya and God Bless!

~Sally

Thoughts, dreams, feelings, faith...

2007-08-10T20:11:00.000-04:00

I miss Travis like crazy right now. You would think that as time progresses to his coming home, that I would grow more and more excited. While I am growing more and more excited....I am also getting really ancy and irritable. Is this normal? Hmmph...who knows? Call me psycho...but deployments/R&R's/block leaves/exodus's/redployments/etc. are all very emotionally challenging, are they not? I do love being an army wife, even though there are stereotypes that come along with that title, however....this life is testing. You can make and break relationships in a heartbeat, you can laugh and cry instantaneously (sometimes at the same time), and the lonliness is very overwhelming. I am counting down the days to when I get to find out exactly when Travis returns. I pray for patience and peace of mind, because both seem to be far from me lately. School starts on Monday, and believe it or not, I am thoroughly excited about that. I am anxious to re-learn Algebra and English. Scary thought though, considering I haven't been in school in over 7 years. *Yikes* One wonders where the time flies, huh? Moving to Deutschland will be a task as well. Managing school, a HUGE move, trying to plan a family and all that jazz.....I say bring it on. If Jesus is for us, who can be against us, right? AMEN! I hope Germany has an infertility clinic, so Travis and I can continue our treatment. Having to put the adoption on hold was a really hard decision for both of us to make, considering all the time and money that was put into it in such a short amount of time. We want this to happen naturally for us. Not because adoption isnt for us...simply because the financial burden can be spread over 18 years, not all at once! believe me, we were READY for a baby....didnt matter how we got it. RIght now though, we pray for God to bless both of our bodies and let us create our own child and SOON! There we go with that patience thing again....sheesh. Some people call me crazy for doing what I do, saying what I say, believing what I believe, and so on. You know what I say? You can call me crazy all you want to people...because to be perfectly sane must be a bore. Who is perfectly sane anyway? I am so sorry to disappoint some of you, but God didnt make anyone perfect in body or mind. Insanity rests within all of us, at least I am willing to admit to mine at times. I had this really weird dream last night about Native Americans doing spiritual dances and it was actually quite cool. DId you know that each movement in a dance is telling part of a story? Like the native Hawaiian dances. My dreams are often very spiritual. I notice that after a really tough day, my dreams are peaceful and God councils me and ministers to me through my dreams. However, after a pretty good day my dreams are usually pretty scary in nature...testing my faith...which can be unnerving. I have a lot on my mind right now. I miss my family back home something awful, but I miss my husband more. I cant wait for the day I get to see him...but I know I have to wait. I want him to hold me, hug me, kiss me, squeeze me, and look into my eyes and tell me how much he loves me. Somehow, whenever I am in a mood or have an attitude....Travis makes it all better. There is nothing better than the sound my true loves' voice, telling me everthing is going to be ok!

God Bless!

Sally

Memories....

2007-07-17T09:33:00.001-04:00

I recently bought a scanner, and I must say that it will come in handy for school and other various uses. I have been sifting through old pictures, that I havent looked at in a while, and I have been scanning a few of them to put on myspace and my blog. As I look at these pictures, it brings back memories of past and helps me to remember that no matter how far away from my family I am...they are always in my heart. Enjoy the pics!

The original Fabulous 5! Kenny, Sally, James, Chelsea, and Vickie! Wow, that was a long time ago. RIP James.
Chelsea, me, and Kenny. A Christmas, long ago!
An old picture of Travis and I before marriage and before the Army. Ah, to be young again....

Senior picture of me in my drum major uniform. I loved being a drum major, and I miss the body I used to have *wink*

Sally Jr. and Sally Sr. That is what our family calls us! I love my gramma dearly.
My niece Natalie. She was 1 year old in this picture. She will be 4 years old this year, and its hard to believe it! I miss her a lot, and I cant wait to see her.

I hope you all enjoyed these pics, there will be more to come I am sure! Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!!

God Bless,

The Moser's

New SUV! Praise Jesus!

2007-06-23T17:18:00.000-04:00

So we did it....we took the plunge and bought a new vehicle! What a blessing that we have been able to get such a nice SUV. YES I HAVE AN SUV! WOOHOO! I made sure to get one that I knew Travis would fall in love with too. I like it because it is more child consciencious (sp?), what with having larger area in the back and a large space for "stuff". I hope you like this Travis, it is going to become our family vehicle! *yay* It is a 2007 Chevy Trailblazer LS. Aluminum wheels, sunroof, 6-disc CD changer, leather steering wheel, BOSE stereo system, its just amazing! I had to say goodbye to my dear old truck, but she wasnt good for hauling around babies (in fact, i discovered the truck didnt have LATCH capability, which is important to me). Here is a couple of pics of the trailblazer! ENJOY!

My own personal Incredible Hulk (minus the green skin, and low mental capacity)!!

2007-06-13T22:19:00.000-04:00

Travis sent me new pics, which leads me to believe I have some competition for getting in shape! Check out how muscular he has gotten! I also really dig the new sunglasses he purchased for $5.00. Doesnt he look AMAZING! WOOHOO! I miss him more than words can say.

God Bless,
Sally

Whoever knew a new car smell could give me a headache??

2007-06-13T17:13:00.000-04:00

I have spent the better part of the day looking for a new vehicle. I go to the dealership to see what my truck is worth, and in the process, checkout at least 5 or 6 new and used suv's. Now, Travis and I are Chevy people all the way, so I wasnt even trying to fool around with some unreliable ford *ugh*. I got to ride in a couple and test drive a brand new car. WOW! The wonders that are OnStar and XM Satellite radio. Naturally when I tried to call Travis and tell him about all these cool features on some of the models (and believe me, these dealerships REALLY put a lot of thought into what their customers want).....Travis didnt answer his phone. Its ok though, I did get ahold of him eventually. I told him I had found "the one" , the one suv that would be a deal maker or breaker. Brand new, 10 miles (1 mile put on by moi), sun roof, 6-disc cd changer, BOSS stereo system, leather wrapped steering wheel, power drivers seat, OnStar and XM sat., it's just overall a really neat ride. Travis asked me if it had leather seats and heated seats .....I just laughed and said, what do you think we are, rich? Well, let me tell you...after getting in those vehicles and checking them out....that new car smell was starting to get to me something awful *of course I didnt let this on to the dealer*. So now we are playing a game of numbers. I REALLY LOVE MY TRUCK! There is a big part of me that wants to keep it ; it would be cheaper than the suv we are looking at now, its my dream truck, and I love it! But then again, its not very functional when you have a packed cab and have to put belongings outside in the bed, exposing them to rain and snow *when applicable*. I just prayed over the whole situation and I am going to trust that God will do for us what He knows is right. Honestly, I could go with the truck or the suv. Travis, I know, would want the suv....and he already told me to get it anyway *I think he is just excited about the OnStar and cd changer*. Well thats my dilemma.....now I am going to take a nap. My head hurts from all the different smells of the day! Have a good one!

Gos Bless Ya'll,

Sally

Our prayers are needed....

2007-06-12T09:24:00.001-04:00

This video was sent to me through myspace by a friend. Please watch this video in its entirety, and as you pray please include this little child and his family in your prayers. Jesus is a healer of our souls and of our flesh, and this little boy will need both to be healed. Thanks and God Bless!

In Him,
Sally

Pray for baby Kaleb.

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I tried and I tried.....

2007-06-09T15:12:00.000-04:00

but sometimes you just can't get through the thick skulls of people! OH WELL!

all about forgiveness

2007-06-08T08:26:00.000-04:00

I FORGIVE YOU ALL!

For my heart...I love you and I miss you!

2007-05-29T00:30:00.001-04:00

For all of our guys!

2007-05-29T00:27:00.001-04:00

Learning....

2007-05-22T22:39:00.000-04:00

So I am learning. I am learning that I need to to put more faith in people, Jesus, and myself. I am leaning how hard life really is when there is only me in this house. I am learning that the Lord has timing that only He can determine. I am learning that I really do need to put forth more effort to acheive my goals in life. I am still growing and learning, spiritually. I am still of this flesh, so I am tempted every day to do wrong. I am still learning how to deal with this deployment, so there are days that I do not handle it very well at all. I am still learning about children, and how challenging they really can be when NOTHING calms them down. I feel that Jesus is really wanting me to learn more and lean more towards His way rather than mine. It is funny the things you can think about when given the time and the fact that there is nothing else to do. Praise God, for He is without fault and will ALWAYS be there for you (and me!).

I miss Travis. I have been able to speak with him at least 3 or 4 times per week, which is fine with me. I am learning that making a marriage work, over the phone, is a daunting task but well worth the end result. It is hard when either of us is having a bad day, and we try to understand what the other is going through. Neither of us want to tell the other what is wrong because we dont want to worry, but we cannot help but ask because we care and want to be there for eachother. Aside from God, Travis is my everything and there isnt much I wouldnt do for him.

I am just learning about love, life, children, Jesus...and myself. Thanks!
~Sally

Times a changin'

2007-05-05T20:14:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. The title of this post really fits my mood. I have once again chopped my hair, contrary to that of my old beliefs, and I say old because my religious views are changing. There are still some beliefs that I will holdfast to, but there are little things here and there that I am changing my mind about. I still believe that Jesus is God (because there is no denying it), I dont wear any jewelry except for my wedding band (because there is no need to sparkle with gold or diamonds when I sparkle with the spirit of the Lord from within), and I still believe in water baptism in the name of Jesus (because Jesus is the name of the Son, the Father, and the Holy Ghost). Wearing skirts every day, never wearing makeup, not ever cutting/trimming my hair. These are things that I am reconsidering. I still consider myself a very religious person, but why is Jesus so worried with what I wear as long as I dont look like a hooker? I get the idea of wearing skirts, but God looks within my heart and sees that I am a forgiven sinner. Will wearing a pair of pants really put me in the same place as someone who commits murder or adultery? I know our God is loving, but he is just and he passes judgement unto those who havent listened to His word. I am attending a non-denominational church. I really like it because they do not condemn other beliefs and they dont brag or boast about being faithful. I have been forgiven of my sins, I am a new creature in Christ and I still have to repent every day for the sins I do. Nobody is perfect. Will being a sinner and wearing nothing but skirts and long sleeve shirts make me look better in Jesus' eyes than if I were committing the same sins and wearing pants? A sin is a sin is a sin. There is no way around it. I do not doubt that Jesus wants us to hold true to the 10 commandments, and the Bible says if you break one you break them all. Sure, its not all about how we look but how we act inside and out. I think as we get older we tend to look at religion more analytically than we should. It is very simple, read the Bible, get saved, and ask Jesus to guide you and He will! You know right from wrong. It doesnt matter if your parents taught you or not. At some point in your life you will realize that that icky feeling you get when you are doing something you ought not to.....that is the Lord letting you know that you need to think about the choices you are making. Repent and be baptized in Jesus name. Put all of your faith in Him. He loves us all, and He doesnt want any of us to perish in eternal hell. I am begging for forgiveness every night....I cry in church every week because it is SO HARD to live for God in this day and age. We are too obsessed with money, materialistic things, and whether or not people like us. Well, I got news for you (and for myself). Money wont buy your name in the Book of life, you cannot bring your precious prada bag with you or your big 4 bedroom house into Heaven (or Hell) with you, and it is not other people that are going to pass judgment over you in the End of Days. Now I know that I have no room to talk, I am a sinner myself. I am just coming to the realization of things. Maybe its not as important for me to get that extra sleep, and wake up and go to church. Maybe I can spare that extra money and pay my tithes instead of spending it on an expensive lunch. I'm doing some serious soul searching, and some serious praying about where my life is headed. I would rather make it to Heaven and be with Jesus and have no friends here on earth to speak of than to be the most popular and beautiful person loved by people everywhere and end up going to hell. I dont know. Im praying for myself and for everyone I know and dont know. God Bless.

~Sally

Small baby steps...

2007-04-25T22:36:00.000-04:00

No pun intended! We are taking small steps to complete our goal of adopting a newborn and calling him/her our very own! I sent in our first batch of paperwork today. I am praying that it is met with approving eyes and very enthusiastic attitudes. Travis and I have been working hard on this, yes I say both of us because he has been on the phone with me listening to every last detail about everything that is going, and he has some input believe me! Though he is thousands of miles away, it almost feels like he right here doing this with me. There will be frustration, anxiety, and a whole other slew of emotions that I am not looking forward to...but this is the real deal we are talking about. A real human infant, totally dependant on me and Travis. We will cross our t's and dot our i's as much as we have to if it means being able to have our own baby to love and raise. I have made copies of nearly every document that I have filled out, so I can send them to Travis for him to look over. I know he is a war zone right now, but for those moments of free time he has....maybe reading over some of the paperwork will take his mind off of the struggles he faces. I only hope it will give him the drive he needs to be successful and competant in his missions. I pray for all of our friends that have been affected over there...Gods speed to them all. This separation isnt easy for any of us, and I hope we can all stick together through this. Well, I will write more when more progress is made! Take care and God bless!

Many Blessings,

Travis and Sally

Phase II

2007-04-18T00:05:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know what you are thinking...you bought stuff already and you're not even an active member yet?? Well, you know what? Motivation and FAITH people....its all about having faith. Both Travis and I have come to the realization that we may never bare biological children. What is biology anyway, except blood lines, physical traits, and sometimes the hereditary bad behavior? Being a mom and dad is very important to both of us. As we enter Phase II of this process we will encounter challenges along the way, for sure. There will be days when I am sure I have had enough of the paper work and endless waiting. There will be days when all we want is to have it happen right now! So today, for a little motivation I went and bought two onsies...of course they are neutral colors but cute and very inspiring to say the least. Some people think I am crazy for this..."you shouldn't get your hopes up, its way too early to be doing that, etc." We love our family and our friends very much. If it wasn't for our faith in Jesus or our faith in each other, there is no way either of us could make it. So, here it is...the cute picture of the stuff I bought and was given (thank you Shelbie, for your unwavering encouragement and support!).

Do not think that I am blinded by this adoption and lost in some fairy tale that it will be fast and easy, things in this life rarely are. I understand that these things take time and the Lord will make things happen in His time. However, I will keep these as a reminder of how determined we are to become mommy and daddy to a little baby, every time I see them I will have a renewed sense of faith and strength. I know Travis feels the same way. I can hear in his voice how excited he is that he will be a daddy, and will soon be able to be the father he never had. Neither of us has had it easy, but we will make a better life for our child and present more opportunities than we were offered. The love we are so ready to give our child cannot be described in words, but only in the feeling that one day we will hold our own precious baby in our arms, and finally be the family we have struggled for and prayed for. This whole process feels right to us, and for once things are going smoothly and without error (thus far). Travis and I continue to ask for your prayers and your support. We are not active and waiting yet, but we will be in due time. Thanks, and God Bless!

-The Moser's

Adoption

2007-04-05T09:20:00.000-04:00

So I think maybe Travis and I are going to start this adoption process....or at least I am because he is in Iraq. At least by the time he gets home all we have to do is our interviews, background checks, and homestudy...then we wait 1-9 months for our baby to arrive. Then again, I dont really know because Travis isnt here with me....and part of me thinks he should be here for the entire process, not just some of it. So many things to consider when looking to adopt! Age, race, open/closed adoption, international adoption, the COST which is the biggest concern I have. There are so many children without homes, so many new babies who get dumped on the side of a road or left at some doorstep...and these children need a loving family to be with. Why is it so goshdarn expensive to give that loving home??? Sure, you need to be financially stable to raise a child (even though most people arent in the first place), but does that mean you need to have $11,500-$21,000 lying around at all times? I know semi-rich people who dont have that much lying around (anyone with a few thousand in their bank account is, to me, considered semi-rich). I hear that the money is well spent and well worth every penny to be holding your very own baby, in your arms. I am sure it is, and I know Travis and I can afford to raise a child. People have done it before, who have been in worse situations than us. I just have some mixed emotions right now. Partlly because I am not sure how we could afford all of these lump sum costs, and partly because I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "well honey, you are adopted..." thing. I guess I have some things to think about. Off for now, take care!

Just missing him....

2007-03-18T22:53:00.000-04:00

I try to stay busy with work, trying to make new friends (but I always seem to muck it up), and trying to start school. I miss Travis an awful lot today. Going through pictures, watching movies, hearing something that totally reminds me of him....just missing him terribly. I havent heard a word from him in 3 days, which feels like ages ago. As much as I try not to, I worry. I am sure I am not the only one who does. I miss his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his touch, his hugs and kisses. Why is it that some days I am ok with him being over there and I can go about my day....and then other days I cannot bear the thought of him even setting foot in that awful place? I am a little worried that I havent heard from him, but no news is good news as they say. I have to have faith that Jesus will get us both through this, and give us strength to sustain such hard times. Here I am in my own country going about my daily life, while he is in a desolate terrorist ridden cestpool with danger learking around every corner.....how dare I feel so sorry for myself, even the slightest bit. I cannot even imagine what happens over there, I dont want to imagine or even know for that matter. I love you Travis, I hope you can hear my say it at this very moment; I love you. I miss you, and I want you to take care of yourself! Lord, please keep my husband safe....keep all our husbands safe. Bring them all home to us.

In Him,

Sally

BOWFLEX! FINALLY!

2007-03-12T01:58:00.000-04:00

After nearly a week of this thing sitting less than alf finished, I finally decided to heck with it and put it together all at once. Sure, its taken me til 1am to do it, but at least its done! I AM SO FREEKEN EXCITED! THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING ME THE WILLPOWER! I am now on my way to a leaner and healthier physique. *sigh* Any of my friends who are interested in helping me get my monies worth from this machine..please contact me!

In Him,

Sally

Various Pics and stuff!

2007-03-07T22:10:00.000-05:00

Travis sent me some pics of him in Kuwait and Germany. I am waiting on pics from Iraq. I cannot wait to see him in action (I just want to see him!). Enjoy! I am so proud of him! He just made his E-4! Congrats Baby, I knew you had it in you!

Sitting after he called me on the phone! A view from the plane; break-taking!

A herd of camels, and some baby camels. The Lord created everything for us to behold.

The Mose, somewhere in Deutschland! Ich bin ein Berliner!

Travis also sent me some beautiful flowers, here they are and tell me if they are not gorgeous!

You should have seen these pretty flowers in full bloom!!

Finally, ladies and gentleman, I have some important news for you all. Being as I am Apostolic, it is a big no-no for me to even think about cutting my hair, among other do's and don'ts. Well, I got really sick of the dead ends, and I decided that Jesus will love me even if I do cut my hair. Well, I got it cut the other day, with the support of my friends and family (especially my mom and Shelbie). Please, do not pass judgement on me for that is not your place to decide if I am worthy or not. I know I am not worthy; no one is truly worthy of the love our Lord, but we receive His glorious love regardless. So please, look at my before and after pics! Please tell me what you think!

This is the before shot....sheesh. Here is the after shot! Sideswept bangs! I havent had bangs since high school!

Regardless of whether or not you agree with my decision, please realize that I am a witness to the Lord and to His sovereignty, I love the Lord with all my heart and cherish His forgiveness and His mercy. I love you all too! Take care my wonderful friends and family! I love you and miss you Travis!

Sally

The Military Wife

2007-03-07T09:26:00.000-05:00

When the good Lord was creating Wives, he was into his sixth day of overtime.

An angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"

And the Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, have the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to 4 or 40, handle emergencies without a manual, and have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way!"

And the Lord answered, "Don't worry, we'll make other military wives to help. Besides it's not the hands that are causing the problem, it's the heart. It must swell with pride in her husband, sustain the ache of separations, beat on soundly when it's too tired to do so, and be large enough to say, 'I Understand' when she doesn't, and 'I love you' regardless."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently. "Go and rest... finish this tomorrow!"

"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something unique. Already I have one who heals herself when she's sick, can feed three unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and can wave good-bye to her husband, and understand that it is important to his country that he leaves."

The angel circled the model of the military wife very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed."But tough," said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this woman can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m." Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride!"

"You are a genius," sighed the angel.

The Lord looked somber and replied, "I didn't put it there."

I found this online, and you know God did make some of us women a little bit differently because He knew we would make great military wives.

Just another day!

2007-02-28T09:26:00.000-05:00

It has been nearly a month since Travis and the rest of company left for Iraq. I am dealing with this no better than when I found out he was leaving. I am learning how to deal with his absence, how to cope with the separation, and how to get along on my own. My faith in the Lord and in His plans for us, is being tested. The emotions, thoughts, concerns, and what-ifs are weighing heavily on my mind. I continue to pray through these, seeking mercy and guidance along the way. When I get that phone call from Travis, my world stops and I can only hear his voice and see his face (in my mind of course). I live for those moments, when he sends me an email and all it says is I love you baby or he calls me and tells me he will be alright and he misses me. I have spoken with several different wives, and I think they can all agree that deployments never get easier, you just learn how to better deal with them. I hope this next year will bring a lot of experience, a lot of freindships, a lot of letters from Travis, and a lot of joy. I am, as they say, keeping the faith. I know Jesus has plans for us, but it has always been hard for me to get used to His time and His way of doing things. I cannot wait to see Travis, and to give him a million hugs and kisses! I miss him and I love him.

Sally

WHAT AN AMAZING NIGHT!!

2007-02-18T00:55:00.000-05:00

All I can say is WHERE HAVE I BEEN!!?? I cannot believe I have been missing such inspirational and spiritually uplifting music!! Lisa, who is a HUGE blessing for me, invited me to an Audio Adrenaline and Mercy Me concert...I was hesitant at first, but I am so thankful that I went! I brought my camera, and got some awesome pictures, but there are some not so great pictures. I am still learning how to use it, gimme a break! Anyhow, I felt so uplifted and spiritually moved by the music, the praise and worship, and the performers. Did I mention it was Audio Adrenaline and Mercy Me???! Lol...probably. I am just so pumped from the concert still...it was so much fun! Thank you Lisa for inviting me, I am so glad that you listened to the Lord that day! There is a reason for everything ladies and gentlemen, God has ways of creating irony and circumstance so things work out. Here are some pics, what a show! Praise Jesus!!

Lisa and I at the show!!

Audio Adrenaline!

The mowhawk guy in A.A. How cool!?

Audio Adrenaline again!

Even the Chaplain was getting in on the fun! WOOHOO!!

Mercy Me! Unfortunately, this is the only shot I could get because my camera was dying and wouldnt focus properly and then eventually just shut down! Mercy Me put on one heck of a show! I was really impressed and very inspired by these guys! Lord bless them, they are just awesome! Thanks again Lisa for inviting me! I am sooo glad we got a chance to bond over a really cool event and I look forward to many more! Thanks everyone for reading! God Bless!

Sally

My travelin' Soldier!

2007-02-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

Well, he is gone! He has boarded the bus that will lead him into a dangerous part of his job. There is nothing I can do to stop it, so I will do nothing but support him, pray over this, and just get through it. I have my family and my friends to keep my spirits high, right? Lets not forget Jesus...but He is a given of course. It was so hard to sit there and think about him leaving me....as if I were the only one who was going through this, I am so sorry ladies...I know we all are going through ruff waters with this deployment. I dont mean to be selfish or anything...I just haven't gone through this before and I am feeling new and scary emotions! The Army doesn't offer guarantees when it comes to this sort of thing. I wanted to touch him constantly, gaze into his eyes so I wouldnt forget how sparkly brown they are, remember his face with my eyes and my hands so I could remember it until he comes again. A WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT HIM?? Lord, I pray for strength and motivation. Here I am laying my burdens down at your feet Jesus, just please dont leave me during this most trying of times. My best friend, my husband, my soldier, my hero has left the comforts of his safe haven to fight for those less fortunate than himself. It takes a strong person to walk into a warzone. I dont know how any of them do it, except by the grace of God's hand and the guidance of a guardian angel leading their way. I love you Travis, and I miss you already. Hugs and Kisses!!

Mama Bear

For his protection, O Lord.

2007-02-06T22:47:00.000-05:00

Lord,
I pray that You would protect Travis from any accidents, dangers, or evil influences during this deployment. Keep him safe, especially in vehicles and helicopters. Hide him from violence and the plans of evil people. Where ever he walks, secure his steps. Keep him on Your path so that his feet don't slip (Psalm 17:5). If his foot does slip, hold him up by Your mercy (Psalm 94:18). Give him the wisdom and discretion that will help him walk safely and not fall into danger (Proverbs 3:21-23). Be his fortress, strength, shield, and stronghold (Psalm 18:2,3). Make him to dwell in the shadow of Your wings (Psalm 91:1-2). Be his rock, salvation, and defense, so that he wil not be moved or shaken (Psalm 62:6). I pray that even though bad things may be happening all around him, they will not come near him (Psalm 91:7). Save him from any plans of the enemy that seek to destroy his life (Psalm 103:4). Preserve his going out and his coming in from this time forth and even forevermore (Psalm 121:8). Your will be done Jesus, and I pray my husband, my soldier, my hero...come home to me just as he left!

In Your Holy name, Jesus

-Amen

Hanging out!

2007-02-06T11:08:00.000-05:00

Just hanging out today, until work rolls around! I dont have to work until 2 and I am happy about that! Travis works late as well. I cannot wait for the warm weather to get here, because I need to get outside and take care of the lawn! This summer is going to be very different without Travis here, but I will be able to get a lot done! Well, off to take care of the house! Later!!

Revamped blog!

2007-02-05T18:16:00.000-05:00

We are the Mosers, Travis and Sally! We have been married almost 3 years now and enjoy every minute of eachothers company (well for the most part!). We are giving the Army thing a chance, and I hope it works out well and is something that Travis will make a career out of! This was at our wedding reception! LOVE THE CAKE!!
Well, we dont have any kids yet. We know the good Lord will give us children when the time is right. In the meantime we enjoy our friends children!
We are both strong in our faith, and are looking forward to a lasting relationship together with the Lord as our guide. The Army is definately challenging, but we will make it through. Travis is deploying soon and I am so proud of him! He has come a long way from the young boy I first met. He has conquered much more than what he or I ever expected. The Lord never ceases to amaze me at what he allows us to endure just to make us stronger people in heart, soul, and mind. Nobody ever told me that being an Army wife would change how I feel about so many different things! I was never told about the long weeks of separation, the mounds of laundry that have to be done almost daily, the constant clutter of IBA's, rucksacks, etc...and I certainly had no idea that deployments took so much out of you emotionally. These past few weeks Travis and I have just been soaking up as much of eachother as we can; snapping photo after photo, talking about things we dont normally discuss...and praying together; something that lifts my spirits every time! My handsome soldier is leaving soon, and Lord willing, he will come back to me and we can continue on this road of growth, love, and faith! Thanks for stopping by! Come back often!